Co-Sleeping With Your Child

I realize that there are many types of parents, specifically moms, in this world. What works for one doesn’t work for another, some parents believe in harsh discipline while others believe in reasoning, some believe in breast feeding while others are pro-formula, some want to wear their baby non-stop and others like to watch others hold their baby, and some believe in co-sleeping.

Honestly, I had never heard of co-sleeping {also known as bed sharing or sleep sharing by some} until my best friend and I were talking about bassinet options and she told me she wanted a co-sleeper. A what? Why? Where does it go? What’s the point? You want your baby in bed with you? For how long? Really, until she makes the decision to stop sleeping with you? What about intimacy with your husband? What about your quality of sleep? Aren’t you afraid she could end up sleeping with you for 5 years?——–These were all questions I had regarding this “co-sleeping” thing. But I think my most important question regarding co-sleeping was the risk of suffocation and SIDS. For the record, co-sleepers are a type of baby bed or bassinet that attaches to your bed. Some makers of “co-sleepers say they’re safe, but the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) doesn’t have any safety standards for co-sleepers. The American Academy of Pediatrics {AAP} doesn’t recommend using these products” {March of Dimes}. And some parents opt to not use a co-sleeper at all and simply sleep with their child in the “family” bed.

During my pregnancy and after Lincoln was born I was constantly talking about SIDS with my husband and telling him that it was so important that we never fall asleep with Lincoln in bed with us or even on a couch, chair, etc. Basically just stay awake at all times while we are holding Little Man. I’m such a light sleeper and wake up coherent and ready to run a marathon with even the tiniest noise, but it wasn’t worth it to me to make a mistake…one mistake could have left me with a lifetime without my son and that just wasn’t/isn’t an option. Wesley is a wild sleeper so I had a fear that Wesley could accidentally roll over on Lincoln if he were in bed with us. We opted to use a bassinet the first few months with Lincoln. He slept in his bassinet, which was pulled up to the side of the bed in our bedroom. I didn’t have to get out of bed to breastfeed, he slept comfortably and safe away from my maniac of a sleeping husband, far from sheets and pillows, I never felt like I missed out on any “bonding” time, and I had peace of mind knowing I was doing what was recommended by pediatricians, the CPSC, and the AAP. I love the idea of a family bed and cuddling with my son, but again, the risks far outweighed the pros in my world.

Let’s talk about the pros of co-sleeping:

Source: http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/cosleeping.aspx

• Encourages breastfeeding by making nighttime nursing more convenient
• Helps a nursing mom get her sleep cycle in sync with her baby’s
• Helps babies fall asleep more easily and go back to sleep more quickly when they wake up during the night
• Leads to more nighttime sleep overall for babies
• Helps parents who don’t see their baby much during the day regain a sense of intimacy with their child
• Bed bonding results in more independent children

Let’s talk about the cons of co-sleeping:

Source: http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/cosleeping.aspx

• Potential risks. The American Academy of Pediatrics {AAP} advises against sleeping in the same bed for safety purposes, but you can still experience most of the pros if you opt to share a room instead.
• Less sleep for you. Infants toss and turn and burp and bark in their sleep — pretty noisy little creatures to keep close while you’re trying to sleep yourself.
• Less sleep for baby. Your super-attentive tendencies (picking baby up at the first whimper) may actually do more harm than good when it comes to (both of) you getting a good night’s sleep.
• Less whoopee. Let’s face it — can you really let it all hang out when baby is sleeping (or cooing) in the same room? If so, more power to you — your baby won’t remember a thing. But if you’re like most couples, either the two of you — or your child — have got to go for the passion to flow.
• Potential problems later on. While some experts argue that sleep sharing promotes independence by making baby feel secure, others say that the longer you wait to move baby out of your room, the greater the chances he’ll have a tough time adjusting when you finally do.

Again, every parent is different and my friend {any many co-sleeping parents across the world} has not had any issues co-sleeping with her child; however I’ve heard countless news stories over the years about children who have died in bed with their parents. Even recently, there was the story of Vanessa Clark who has had two children die while co-sleeping. Yes, she’s the extreme case and I’m sure the vast majority of us can argue that this would never happen to us once let alone twice, but still…is it worth chancing? Not for me. Bad things happen to good people with the best of intentions and personally, I never want to be a statistic in this particular category.

Check out this bizarre mug shot of Clark after she was recently arrested. Really? A big fat smile? Ick.

By no means is today meant to be a PSA, but I gotta ask, did the pros of co-sleeping outweigh the cons for you? If you had to do it all over again, would you “bed share” with your baby again? What side of the bed are you on… co-sleep all the way or no way?