Gimme, I want it all and don’t want to clean my room!

I recently read an article about American children being the most spoiled kids in the world. Do you agree or not? Since I have not traveled the world I am going with the assumption that is most likely true. Kids today seem different than kids when I was growing up, and my parents say the same thing about when they were kids, so on and so on.

What part of being spoiled do you think leads this opinion? The fact that so many kids get pretty much everything they want when they want it or the fact that kids don’t have a lot of expectations on them as far as chores and manners or both? {Obviously this does not apply to ALL kids in America} An exert from the article  discusses a comparison between American and Peruvian kids during a study “The American children had to be nagged mercilessly to do even the smallest chore (as no parent will be surprised to hear). In the Peruvian Andes, however, six-year-olds routinely make themselves useful by sweeping sand off of sleeping mats and catching and cooking crustaceans for the adults’ dinner.”

It seems that we hear each generation saying how concerned they are for the following generations because of how much things change. We adapt to our surroundings and we are now a society that is consumed by technology and fancy gadgets, toys, etc. As a parent you also want more for your children than you had, I think that is normal. I do however think that ideal can quickly get out of hand. Do kids need all of the things they have these days? How much is too much, where is the scale? At what point is it too much or has it gone too far?

I know my kids are spoiled with certain things, but there are also things my husband and I refuse to give in on that they will most likely hate is for until they are parents themselves. My oldest son wants a Nintendo DSI so bad he can’t stand it. We don’t want him having it and don’t see a reason why he should. We have a Wii and that is suffice. There are times I feel bad and want to give in, but think it is an important lesson for him to learn. I am confident that one day he will know why I made that choice for him and respect it. I know a cell phone, Facebook page, ipad, etc are all going to be issues too. He will want them entirely too soon than we think is appropriate and he will think we are so mean for denying them to him (and his brothers). I am okay with that, it is my job to be a parent first then a friend and sometimes parents have to be “mean”. I know mine were…or at least I thought so at the time.

What and how many chores should kids have…and at what ages? I have always had certain things I expected from my boys as far as chores and helping out. I will admit though that I have not always been consistent with it, which is something my hubby and I have been working on. We I recently created new chore charts for our boys. There are a few things that are non-negotiable and have to get done or they are grounded, other things on the list can be done to earn money. Their chores obviously change as they get bigger, but even our youngest who is 3 has a list too. Them having chores lets them know there are expectations and consequences, plus provides structure and responsibility. There are a few things that were hard for me in the beginning because I am very OCD about a lot of things, but I learned to let it go. They don’t do things the way I do them (like make the bed), but they do their best and that is A-OK with me!

Some of my boys chores (again: some are required and others optional for $)

• make your bed
• brush your teeth (don’t judge me for this being a chore…it IS a chore for me ;)…my boys could care less about hygiene right now and this makes it a non issue, I know it gets done!)
• scoop dog poop in the back yard
• clean the toilets (I live in a house of all boys…I don’t pee on the toilet, they can help clean them…they do a great job too!)
• put all of their laundry away
• pick up toys every night
• clean room
• the list goes on…….

I am constantly appalled by children’s lack of manners and respect…for each other and adults! As babies, my boys learned to say “yes/no ma’am, yes/no sir, please and thank you”…it is not an option in my house for it to be otherwise, that is how my boys are expected to speak to any adult. They also call adults “Miss (first name) & Mr. (first name)” or they may use last names too. My husband and I were both raised in a small town, semi-country manner (we are from the same town) and that is how both of us were raised. Not always using your manners was never an option, it was that way or else….and “else” wasn’t fun!

When other children are in my house I also expect them to have manners…if they are hungry or thirsty they need to ask me please and say thank you. I do not respond to kids who talk to me in a disrespectful way, it would be an injustice to my own children if I did. I have encountered children (friends and family) that refused to speak to me respectfully while asking me to get them something to eat/drink…I refuse to do it for them and make them go ask their mother. If she rewards that behavior that is on her, but this mama isn’t going to do it.

Children having responsibility (manners, chores, etc) is so crucial….otherwise are they really prepared for the real world? How else do they learn valuable life lessons? If they are never taught manners how will they speak to a date’s parents or a future boss? If they get everything they want how will they learn limits, to work hard, to appreciate what they do have, and to not expect everything to just be handed to them? If they don’t ever have any type of chore and/or responsibility how will they be able to juggle all of the responsibilities that come with college, a career, or being a spouse/parent? It is my job as a parent to teach all of these things to my children and prepare them the best I can to be responsible and mature adults….and have a lot of fun along the way. It certainly can’t be all work and no play, but the work must be done first…and with manners 😉

What are your thoughts on how spoiled American kids are? Do your kids  have chores/manners/etc?