Hmph. Marriage is FULL of hard choices and experiences. You know that before getting married, or should anyway. We knew, we’ve hurdled, we’ve succeeded and we’ve come out stronger. Welllll, one of the hardest hurdles still in the process of being hurdled is that I want another baby and the Hubs doesn’t. {insert the sounds of screeching brakes} What?! We used to be on the same page….we were going to adopt, then we introduced the idea of having another biological baby into the mix again……then at some point his mind changed. This is tough stuff people. There is not a right or wrong person {I’d know, I am usually right ;)}, this is black and freaking white…there is NO gray area here. You can’t kind of have a baby – you either are having another or you aren’t. Just that simple. Or not that simple in this case.
I didn’t take the news so well either…the news broke at a time when my emotions were running exceptionally high and I may have tripped the hell out to put it lightly. After some time to process my thoughts and think things through I am much better now. We are still not on the same page, but our love for each other is just simply amazing, so we will figure it out and be just fine. I have 3 healthy and amazing boys that I am grateful for and I get to raise them with the man of my dreams.
I know this was not a rushed decision on my Hubby’s part either, he has quite a few reasons on his side and every single one of them are perfectly valid. However, my ovaries twitch every time I see a baby and unless it is a stranger I am asking to hold and love on said baby. I am so grateful to my friends who keep having babies…so is my husband because he thinks it scratches the itch per say. HA joke is on him!
It doesn’t help that we have a few sets of friends that have recently become pregnant with twins {without the use of fertility} and that scares the hell out of him!!! {disclaimer: he is ecstatic for those sets of friends…just so grateful it isn’t us and I can’t blame him HA} There have also been numerous reassurances that IF we were to get preggo on accident that he would clearly be excited.
What is a couple to do in a situation like this!? Right now we are just taking it day by day. He is extremely sensitive to my feelings and we are communicating about it often and well. We both know where the other stands, but the communication lines are fully open which is so very helpful to me. I am comforted by the fact that I know our marriage will be stronger and better after having conquered this together.
Who knows how the situation will end…will he change his mind or will I? We are still young enough that we certainly don’t have to make any rushed decisions. So, as I said, marriage is full of tough stuff. So put on your big girl panties, pull up your boot straps, whatever motto you need to get ya going….but with lots of love and communication this too can be hurdled with success.
Have you experienced a really tough decision like this in your marriage….one that maybe doesn’t have a “gray” area?
