I know, I know — sometimes it is so much easier said that done — especially if everything seems to be going wrong. You woke up late, the kids are on your last nerve, your husband left his junk on your nicely cleaned counters (again) and you just want to scream. I’ve been there. Many many times.
Here are some of my tricks to help calm my nerves … some of them sound corny, but I promise, they are worth a try! And once you get the hang of them, they can work preventatively when you (and/or) your children are heading towards a meltdown. And these are quick!
1. Pause — just stop what you are doing. Stop moving, stop talking, stop thinking, stop texting. Just stop.
2. Breathe — Breathe in slowly for a count of ten seconds. Do this at least four times.
3. Drink water — Stand up, move to the kitchen and slowly drink a full cup of water.
4. Go outside — Take in a breathe of fresh air. Walk around for just a minute.
5. Admit it all — say out loud how you are feeling — “I’m getting really frustrated … I’m scared I’m going to yell at you.” (this one works miracles, I swear).
6. Make contact — if another mom or adult is around — grab a hug from them!
Ever heard of the term — Fill Your Cup? When you feel fulfilled and happy — your kiddos will feed off of your happy emotion. If you are hungry or tired or irritated, your kiddos, well, they will sense it and sadly, they will get on that last nerve and jump all over it!
So — if you have a 30 minutes or so, try these things to fill up your cup:
1. Take a hot shower or bath
2. Call a friend or a family member — an adult who can empathize with you!
3. Exercise — take a walk, do some yoga, lift some quick hand weights.
4. Eat — something healthy and yummy. It’s amazing what we can accomplish if our body isn’t hungry!
I work very very very hard not to take things out on my kiddos and not to yell at them after-all, they are just kids. They don’t really try to irritate me on purpose so why should I yell at them? So, they leave their junk all over … I just walk around and say, “we are a family that appreciates a clean house,” and show them where things go. When they want to eat junk (which inevitably makes them grumpy), I tell them we are are a family that appreciates healthy eating and show them towards something fresh and healthy. I use language that may be above where they can truly understand (after-all, Tyler is three) … but amazingly enough, he understands exactly what I’m trying to tell him. It’s helpful to know what your need as a mother to keep your body in balance. For me, I need exercise — when I don’t get it, little things irritate me — stupid things. You need to stay regulated!
Good luck!
