I really wish I wasn’t writing this article. I hate that postpartum exists. I hate that I experienced postpartum anxiety with both of my children. I hate how I felt during those months. I hate that postpartum casts a gray shadow over my babies’ newborn months.

But it’s real. And the more we mamas talk about it, the more knowledge we can get out there for other mamas. Knowledge is power, and we definitely need that power to fight the battle that is postpartum.

Before I get into signs of postpartum and the best ways to combat it, I briefly want to talk about my experience with postpartum. After my son was born, I thought I had the typical ‘baby blues’. Sure, I was weepy. What new mom isn’t right away? My first mistake was not realizing that the ‘baby blues’ should only last a few days. When 5 weeks in, I burst into tears and was pretty much hysterical while shopping with my sister {who was also a new mother} for no reason, she was beyond alarmed. My second mistake was not knowing the different types of postpartum. I had only ever heard of postpartum depression, and I knew I didn’t have that. I loved my baby beyond measure. So much so that you could say I was obsessed with him. I wouldn’t let myself sleep for fear he would stop breathing if I took my eyes off him for 1 minute. I held him non-stop during the day so he would know I loved him. So that wasn’t postpartum, right? WRONG!

So…first up…Recognizing the 2 different types of post-partum. These aren’t comprehensive lists, but they come from lots of reading, my own experiences and that of friends and family. Here’s a great website that is dedicated to post-partum issues.

Recognizing Post-Partum DEPRESSION

1. You feel overwhelmed and guilty. You don’t know how to be a mother and feel terrible guilt that you don’t.

2. You don’t feel bonded to your baby and/or you don’t feel anything; you feel very empty and disconnected.

3. You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you can’t find the energy to do anything (grooming, talking to people, connecting to the world).

4. You don’t understand why this is happening.

Recognizing Post-Partum ANXIETY

1. You are afraid…of something…of anything…of everything. Trent was going to die if I took my eyes off of him.  Drew would be damaged beyond repair if her nap wasn’t long enough.

2. You have disturbing thoughts. Strangers wanted to throw Trent in the swimming pool. I had a friend who mapped out which bridge her family would live under if they ever became homeless.

3. You can’t relax, turn your brain off, sleep, sit still. You feel restless.

4. You have physical symptoms – nausea, headaches, shakiness.

Beating Post-Partum

1. TALK. To anyone. A friend, a family member, your spouse. Voice your concerns. And often. The more you can verbalize how you feel, the better you will feel and the easier it will be to get better. The best would be to talk to a professional, and believe me, I know how scary it can be to make that first call. I cried and cried and cried over finally admitting I needed help. But talking to a psychiatrist {with Trent} and a therapist {with Drew} were amazing.

2. If you need to take medicine {or supplements}, DO. This was another thing that was hard for me at first. I sat at our kitchen table staring down a bottle of Zoloft and sobbing. {If you can’t tell, crying was a big part of my post-partum journey.} I did a lot of research before Drew was born and went a more natural route {placenta encapuslation, goat placenta when mine ran out, Chinese herbs…all kinds of good stuff}.

3. Give yourself some grace. I don’t adjust well to new babies. I have had to accept that fact. I have friends who are out on a date night with their spouse 1 week in. Staying up late. Running errands with the baby {or heck, alone}. That’s not me. I remember my sister telling me about taking all 3 of her kids {ages 4, 2 and newborn} to the park alone. I had 2 and was petrified to be alone with them INSIDE MY HOUSE for months. Embrace who you are. I have learned that I’m a great mom regardless of how often I venture in public alone with my kids.

4. The internet can be your friend. I had a positive thoughts app on my phone I looked at daily. I read about all kinds of hippie treatments {earthing, anyone?} that I tried. I found an exercise group {another great way to boost your mood}. I read encouraging stories of other moms.

5. Celebrate the victories. The first time I was alone with both kids at home you better believe I patted myself on the back for days afterwards. Every day that is a good day {or hour or minute} is worth celebrating. Because soon  you’ll find the good day becomes a good week becomes a good month becomes a good LIFE.

:: Did you suffer from post-partum depression? ::