Welcoming a 2nd Child: 10 Tips for Transitioning from 1 to 2 Kids

Now I personally have nothing on Kristen and Ashlee with their four children each {read Kristen’s post here about transitioning to four kids and Ashlee’s here about going from 2 to 3 kiddos}, but I think there is something traumatic to be said about that first transition – that one that takes you from 1 baby you love, worship and can give 100% of yourself to…to a harried mom of 2 kids who sometimes can’t remember if she put on deodorant. {No, that didn’t happen today. Why do you ask?}

All transitions are difficult for different reasons, but here are some tips and tricks when you find yourself transitioning from that first kid to the second!

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1. Drop the Guilt. I called my best friend crying one day {again with the crying? I warned y’all!} because I felt like I was neglecting my son and at the same time not providing my daughter with the attention my son got as a newborn. I couldn’t give each child 100% of myself. She wisely pointed out that I was giving each of them 100% of what I could give to THEM. I still love that sentiment when one is clinging to my leg while the other is begging me for something.

2. It’s Just a Season. When I let my son watch 3 hours of movies one day because I just couldn’t use any more brain cells, I had to recognize that I can’t be wonder-mom every day {or most days, ha}. The hardest part {so far} was the beginning, and if the dishes piled up, I didn’t shower, and my son watched TV all day, it was going to be okay. You WILL go out on a date again, I promise!

3. Just Do It. It took me awhile to work up the nerve to be alone with both kids and take them somewhere together by myself. I realized after the fact that I think I made it worse anticipating it. I just needed to do it.

4. It Takes a Village. If a friend wants to bring you dinner, let them. If your mom wants to wash dishes, let her. Get all the help you can while it’s being offered!

5. Give Yourself Some Grace. For moms of 3, 4, or more kids, you probably look back on the transition to 2 kids and laugh – I know I laughed at how easy it was to spend time with a newborn after raising a toddler. BUT this is the first transition into multiple kids and it’s hard. Don’t beat yourself up for any failures and celebrate the good times.

6. It’s Okay if They Cry. You’re probably use to tending to your baby’s tears. When you have two it is probable that they will both be crying for very different reasons at the exact same time. 1 of them will have to wait. Period. And it’s okay.

7. Laugh. There are times where you will be in public and you are THAT mom with the misbehaving children that you can’t seem to get under control. In that moment you may feel an eye twitch, heat in your ears, and a muscle spasm… just laugh it off. Hysterical loony kids are comical. And laughing will help you regroup and conquer those tiny humans!

8. Baby Wipes. Always, and I mean always, have lots and lots of baby wipes. I don’t care if you have 0 kids or 15 kids, baby wipes are a necessity. There is nothing worse than having an unknown fluid on your arm and having nothing but an empty granola bar wrapper to wipe it off with. Kids are messy. Be prepared.

9. Solace. Find something, anything, that allows you to have a break. Whether it’s a daily workout, monthly book club, weekly bible study, or a trip to the nail salon, find some time to just be you. Kidless uninterrupted “me” time.

10. Expect a Change in Behavior. Succumb to the fact that child #1 will be changed for a while about child #2 existence. This too shall pass. At some point {we can’t promise when}, your first baby won’t remember life without their sibling. It doesn’t matter if they are 11 months apart or 10 years apart, life will never be the same for your first baby. All kids cope differently, but there will be a change.

:: Moms of 2, what was the hardest part of the transition to 2 kids for you? :: 

onekidtotwo

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