Learning to Say Goodbye: Coping With a Loss

Less than 72 hours ago I was on a walk with my son and our very energetic golden retriever Brody.  Today we are mourning the loss of our sweet dog and attempting to adjust to what feels like an empty home.

I know that Brody was a dog, maybe “just a pet” to some people.  But to me and my husband, he was the first big commitment we made as husband and wife.  My husband has always referred to him as “our first born”.  Brody was our son’s best friend.  And for me, he was my constant companion, my buddy on morning walks, and my side kick during nap time. 

The details are fast and confusing.  He got sick earlier in the week and we assumed he had eaten something while enjoying our property.  We called the vet and decided to watch him closely before taking any further steps.  By Friday morning we were very concerned and took him to receive excellent care at Lakeway Vet.  Within an hour we learned that Brody was in kidney failure and we began treatment.  We were all in shock.  Brody was still playing with our son, chasing balls, barking at deer, and running on our morning walk, all while in kidney failure. 

Over the next 24 hours my husband and I transferred Brody to emergency care, asked the vet to take any step necessary, signed for a few large credit card charges, and cried.  We cried a lot.  Throughout the night we stayed connected with the vet and woke up early Saturday morning to bring Brody home where we could have some final happy memories.

Brody was so excited to be home and reunited with his best friend, but we could tell that the vet was right, he had hours left.  Saturday morning was a beautiful cool day with bright warm sun shining in our yard.  So we laid outside with Brody and talked about our favorite memories.  Our son tried to get Brody to play and we took some special family pictures.  It was perfect.

A friend took our son for the day so my husband and I could take our time to say goodbye.  At home and back at the vet we laid next to our very loyal and loving dog.  We talked about our favorite memories.  We laughed and cried.  We prayed and cried some more.  And then we said goodbye.  Up to the very last second Brody was showing us his love with his very sweet kisses. 

Our family has been in the midst of a very busy season and we have had a tough time connecting.  Brody brought us together for an unforgettable weekend.  Even in his death he taught us to love each other well.  Losing Brody was not the reason we wanted to be brought together, but as of right now that’s where we see God’s hand.  We have hugged, cried, laughed and sat in silence.  We have avoided our home, which is filled with reminders and we have held our breath as our son walks around the yard, holding Brody’s leash, calling for his best friend. 

This weekend I have watched my very strong husband broken.  I have heard my usually happy son cry out in fear and confusion.  And I have felt helpless as a mom, trying to love on my hurting family while I hurt myself. 

I know the loss of a pet is far below the possible loss I could experience in the future.  But for our family, this was our first loss together.  This was the first time my family faced death together.  So as we learn to say goodbye to Brody, we will learn how to love each other well, take advantage of every day we have together, and give thanks for all that we have been given. 

Goodbye Brody, we will always love you.