When You Just Want to Quit … Motherhood

Austin Moms Blog | Quitting Motherhood

A couple of weeks ago I was watching a DVR’d Grey’s Anatomy (one of my few guilty pleasures) late at night, while also folding laundry, listening for kids, and mentally preparing for the next work day.  Because let’s be honest: do any of us have time to actually just sit and watch a TV show without multi-tasking?

In the episode, Meredith had just returned from a weekend away with her husband.  So she said.  Her babysitter/sister realized that wasn’t the case, and kept trying to figure out where she went.  Of course her suspicion was that Mer was having an affair or something.  The truth:  Meredith checked into a hotel, slept late, watched movies and jumped on the bed.  By herself.  With no husband, friends, or children.  Meredith took a time out.  She took a REAL vacation.

All of you parents out there know what I am talking about when I say a REAL vacation….vacations with kids, husband, etc, are, in general, a lot of work.  It’s ten times more work than just staying home and, while it’s fun, they are not usually refreshing and relaxing.  I would be lying if I said that I came home from every vacation feeling like I’d been on vacation.

With the responsibilities that all parents have, sometimes it can seem so overwhelming and exhausting that you just want to quit the whole thing.  Raise your hand if you’ve ever wanted to throw in the towel on motherhood?  (It’s okay – that doesn’t make you a bad mom!  It makes you human!)

WHEN you just want to

For me, personally, I’ve been struggling with patience, organization, discipline and motivation.  I am so, so busy with my job, students, and the extra-curricular activities that I coach for my district, that when I add in my own family, their work events, play dates, sports, plus our home & pets, it’s enough to make me want to raise the white flag of surrender.  I feel terrible saying that sometimes I just want to quit everything and run away {alone} and eat what I want, drink what I want, watch what I want, go where I want, sleep when I want and get up when I want – BY MYSELF.  I relish in the thought.  For about two minutes.

Then I start thinking about how cute, sweet and funny my kids are.  How, if I ran away, I might miss Hudson telling me that I should be a waitress because I am such a good cook AND I can carry three glasses of milk to the table at once without spilling.  I would miss Finn holding my face in his hands when he wants my full attention.  I would miss the sound of their laughter on the deck while they are having a nerf sword fight in the rain.  I would miss them needing me, because, really, I need them.

Weary momma’s: this time is fleeting and will be gone before we know it.  

The other night a friend of mine commented on an instagram photo – about how much she missed the days where her boys were little – it was only a few years ago.  And I took it to heart.  Despite my weariness, they are my heart.

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So now, when I feel like I want to quit it all, instead of raising the white flag, I’ll take a breath,  get in the car, go get my nails or hair done, maybe grab a latte and wander around Target for a couple of hours by myself…just long enough to wonder what my babes are up to at home…and then I’ll come back to the chaos.  The beautiful chaos.  And one of these days, when they are bigger, I’ll go on that trip alone.  But not quite yet.

 

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