I hear the phrase “terrible twos” and laugh. Terrible twos seem like a cake walk compared to this new three-year-old I live with. We are a little over a month in to my son’s third-going-on-fourth year, and I feel like we are on a full-fledged roller coaster ride. One minute we are singing and laughing, having a blast, and the next the switch is flipped to angry monster mode because the granola bar I gave him broke in half.

With that said, the high points are awesome. Seeing my kiddo rock a new skill or come over to me unprovoked to snuggle and give hugs and kisses makes my heart melt. This year has also shown me how much he’s learned, and how he is now capable of interacting socially without needing me there to guide him. I love it, and can’t get enough of it most of the time. But those other times, that aren’t so fun, can really throw you.

Here are some signs you are in the midst of the roller coaster threes:

• Frustrations ~ It’s heartbreaking and maddening to see your child get frustrated so easily. “Look buddy, a ball the size of your head just isn’t going to ever fit into this hole the size of a marble. Not gonna happen. Get over it.” (Unless you are a mother, then yes, this actually can and does happen, but that’s a later lesson in life to learn.) I know, as much as I hate seeing my little guy frustrated, it also means he’s learning, and that he wants to learn. Gotta find that silver lining.

• Tantrums ~ Oh boy, these are bad. Tantrums started in my house before my son hit one. He has definitely perfected this skill. At three these things command a room, or an entire department store, depending on where you are. There is nothing more humbling and embarrassing (and sometimes incredibly infuriating) than having to either power through, or just completely give up and walk away from a shopping session. I don’t know if there is a silver lining here. Please enlighten me if you know of one .

• Whining ~ Am I the only mother in the world that can no longer stand the voice of a whining child? At first, I’ll admit, I catered to it. “What’s wrong sweetie? What do you need? Are you hurt?” Now I say “dude, this conversation isn’t happening until you talk to me like a big boy.” I completely understand and sympathize with the “no whining” signs my mother used to make and sell. These things flew off the shelves, and I know why.

• The W’s ~ Who? What? When? Where? Why? I love that my guy is SO inquisitive and wants to know and learn everything there is to learn. I LOVE it!! But I can only find a response to “why?” so many times. “For the love of god kid, I don’t know why the ant is hungry and eating a crumb on the ground and the dog wants to sniff him and the cat is howling at the wall. Because! That’s why! Let’s go!

• Fearlessness ~ My heart stops about once a day, sometimes more depending on the amount of time I spend with my son. Things do scare him these days, thank goodness. A healthy fear of some things is a good thing. Unfortunately, he does not have a healthy fear of jumping and diving off of things. I am pretty sure this one will live on with me forever as long as my son and I are both alive. He’s three and already had two emergency room visits that included a set of seven stitches. I know, there’s more where that came from.

• Undying Love ~ I tell you what, my son can surprise me at the most random moments just to tell me he loves me, or that he wants to snuggle. I love that right now I am his best friend. I know this because he tells me, and he also frequently revokes this privilege. These days when I make him mad or tell him no, I am scolded with a “Mommy, I am NOT your best friend anymore!” What he doesn’t understand is the fact that I ever was his best friend is totally enough for me, and my big full heart.

What are some of the things you are going through with your terrible and also amazing two or three or four year-old? Let me know, so I can plan for the future years.