To Be or Not to Be a Mother: Is Motherhood Right for You?

This may sound like a strange question to pose, but let’s be honest, motherhood ISN’T right for everyone. So to be or not to be a mother? I already am one. So now what? 

I am the quintessential description of a mom. I’m the Owner of Austin Moms Blog, a resource that connects and empowers moms in Austin and beyond, I’m pretty crafty with a glue gun, I organize events and meet-ups for moms, I cheer on the sidelines at baseball games on Saturday mornings, and am a constant presence in my kiddo’s lives. However, is motherhood really right for me?

There are times that I think I’ve got this motherhood thing down to perfection. And then life happens. It happens when I realize I’m working too hard, I’m using the television as a babysitter so I can get work done, I’m losing my patience, I’m stressed to the max, it happens when we are always rushing here – there – everywhere, and then I blink and realize we are celebrating my youngest’s 2 years of life on this earth. We always hear that cliche saying “where did the time go?”, but seriously, where DID the time go? In that moment, I then start asking myself “did I make the most of these 2 years or almost 5 years for my oldest?”. Taking a step back into reality forces me to see that I didn’t really sit down and build blocks, put together puzzles, read books, or engage during meals as much as I should have. We may not have really played with every single DIY that was featured on Austin Moms Blog. I didn’t pay attention to those tiny yet so significant moments. And then I question whether or not motherhood is truly right for me.

I can remember as a young girl day-dreaming about my Prince Charming and how many children I would one day have. I doodled my favorite baby names in a notebook as a high-schooler. Being a “mom” was something that I always wanted to be. It would be my greatest victory. Yet here I am asking whether or not motherhood is right for me. The biggest thing I’ve learned in my 5 years of being a mom is that many of us ask ourselves this question at some point in time. Sure it may not be an outward question or one that is laid out perfectly in our heads, but we all question our abilities and choices as mothers. We make mistakes often and we don’t always get it right. We lose our patience and find ourselves needing to apologize to those little humans that we created or longed for. We wake up late and breakfast for the kids consists of a granola bar in the car. We forget that it’s show and tell at school. We bought Valentine’s from the store rather than crafting it up on Pinterest. We turned our back on the playground only to turn back around to see our kid had fallen off the playscape. We just didn’t get it right.

The thing to realize is that we all feel this way, we all question whether or not we were meant to be a mother, or if motherhood is right for us. That’s unfortunately, normal. And even though I don’t always get it right, sometimes I do and in those moments, I know motherhood is right for me. The moments when only I can make a booboo feel better, or the boys fight over holding my hand, or when I get attacked with the most awesome hugs that force me to the ground, when my oldest requests me to sing ‘You Are My Sunshine’ before bedtime, because from the moment he was born I sang it every night. It’s those moments when I got it right that trumps all the times I got motherhood wrong. And did I really get it wrong or am I just a mom that’s imperfectly perfect? Then I smile and remember that motherhood is and will always be my greatest victory.

This article originally published in Austin Woman Magazine.