Take it Easy

You know that idiot driver? The one who, even though it’s smack in the middle of 5:00 traffic, and NO ONE can move, or go fast, or do anything at all other than sit there, THIS driver just keeps on frantically scurrying up on everyone’s rear, tailgating, swerving in and out, driving up alongside of people and shaking their head in frustration. Speed up. Slam on brakes. Swerve. In and Out. Almost rear-end someone. Repeat. All of this stress, frustration, MISGUIDED EFFORT, work. They finally manage to get ahead of everyone, only to be stopped a few miles down the road at a light, where YOU, calm, sensible, and law-abiding driver that you are, then pull up right beside them. I LOVE when this happens to me. It brings me great pleasure to look over at Idiot Driver, and mentally give them a “thumbs up”. Strong work, dude. You almost gave yourself a heart attack, and here we are, side by side. All of that freaking out for NOTHING.

It occurred to me the other day, that I play the part of the idiot “driver” almost every day. Not in driving (well maybe sometimes in driving), but in life.

Here’s an example:

The other morning, I was running behind getting my two year old out the door for preschool. Let me just tell you something that some of you may already know, and that is this: when you are a breastfeeding mama, you just don’t get ANYWHERE on time EVER. If it’s time to nurse, it’s time to nurse, and your boobs and your baby just don’t care that it is ALSO time to leave.  Anyway. We are trying to get out the door for my son’s preschool class. You know…the TWO YEAR OLD class, where they basically spend their day playing in shaving cream and their own boogers? They aren’t doing rocket science in there anyway, I can tell you that. There are not “tardies” or “unexcused absences” or “grades” or anything that really matters.  It’s just fun, and it gives me a chance to go to Target with only one kid.  So basically, it doesn’t MATTER if he is a bit late.  And yet, you never would have known it by the way I was behaving that morning.  Rushing around like a crazy person. Sweating. Actually sweating in my own home.  Barking out orders at him.  Nerves shot.  “We’re late, we’re LATE, oh my gosh we are SO. LATE. TODAY.  Hurry, hurry, HURRRRRYYYYYY!!!”.  I became the LITERAL “idiot driver” (not just the analogical one) on our way to school.  Mentally cursing at people.  Fingers tapping on the steering wheel.  Looking at the clock every few minutes.  Fly into the parking lot 15 minutes late.  “Hurry baby.  Get out of the car.” Rush, rush, rush.  Practically dragging him up to the front door.  We got to his classroom, and the class wasn’t in there.  They had already assembled for chapel….IN A DIFFERENT BUILDING. OMG.  We are soooooooooooooooooo late. This is tragic. Or so you would have thought by looking at me/listening to me.

Anyway. We get to chapel, and guess what? They were celebrating all of the September birthdays in chapel that day. My son’s birthday is in September.  o I got to sit in and witness the ultimate in cuteness, special-ness, and precious-ness. Seeing my little guy sing and dance with his fellow two year old friends.  Seeing the teacher call his name and  then watching him toddle onto the stage as they honored all the birthday kids.  Seeing his funny little, half-confused, half-“I feel super cool” face from up on stage, as they plunked a way-too-big birthday crown on his head and sang to him.  Seeing him wave and mouth “hi mama” from up on the stage. I loved every second of it.

After it ended, I got back in my car and thought two things:

1. I’ve never been so happy to be late before. If I hadn’t been late, I would have just dropped him off in his classroom, and never would have gotten to see or be part of his birthday celebration.
2. Aside from that though, what the HECK had I been so freaked out about all morning? I felt like a total moron as I thought back over my behavior, attitude, and state of mind throughout the morning.  If we had gotten there 15 minute late, and he had missed, like..what? A morning greeting and maybe a few songs?…why would that have even MATTERED? Certainly it wouldn’t have mattered enough that it was worth starting the day in such a sour way. Rushing when we could have been savoring. Marching through the parking lot when we could have been moseying.

That got me thinking, what else do I freak out about, that really is just stupid? Here’s something:

My kids like to take baths together. They have lots of fun, and sometimes they splash water out of the tub.  And it drives me nuts, and most of the time I freak out. “Quit splashing water. QUIT SPLASHING WATER!! QuitsplashingwaterquitsplashingwaterI’mNotGonnaSayItAgainquitsplashingwater”. But really, what the heck does it matter?? What is so horrible about splashing water? IT’S WATER. IT’S A TILE FLOOR. It takes like five seconds to throw a towel down on the ground and dry it up when they are done. Is it really worth ruining their joy? Because there is JOY in playing an imaginary game with your brother involving boats and sharks and bubbles and splashing. CHILL OUT.

I could list out at least ten other examples for you, but I don’t think you need me to do that. You get what I’m saying, right? The point is, IT’S GOING TO BE OK.

It’s going to be ok that:

• You just straightened all the pillows up on the couch, and they are already all messed up again
• You just finished sweeping the floor five minutes ago, and now you are watching as your toddler drops a goldfish on the floor.  And then steps on it.
• As you are walking out the front door, your baby poops in their just-changed diaper. It takes 2 minutes max to change a diaper. So you are going to be two minutes late now. Or two minutes latER than you already were. It’s ok. It’s not worth ruining your day over.

I’m sure you have your own list, similar to mine, and none of the things on EITHER of our lists need to be day-ruiners. They aren’t worth ruining our KIDS days over either…and I’m convinced that sometimes me and my impatience and freaked out-edness does just that…ruins my kids’ days.

Kids are crazy, and they move slow when we need them to be fast, and they are fast when we need them to slow down. They are messy. They test our patience, and our sanity. They do things that make zero sense. But, for me at least, on any given day, I bet there are only a handful of things that are actual REAL issues that need to be addressed. The rest are just things that I let get to me. Things that are just part of having children, that I can’t, shouldn’t, and don’t need to do anything about. I just need to let it go.

In other words…the traffic ain’t moving, so just sit tight, roll the windows down, turn up the radio, and take a deep breath. It’s going to be ok.