austin-moms-blog-valentines

Oh goodness. Where to even start with this? Well, here. I know. Let me start with a few disclaimers.

  1. This post is BOUND to get some hate. I am prepared.
  2. This post, despite some ranting and raging that may initially occur, is actually ULTIMATELY intended to encourage and relieve some of you (the ones of you who aren’t too busy being irritated, that is)

My son’s teacher sent a letter home from school last week to all of the students in my sons class. The letter explained that next week, the kindergarten class would be exchanging valentines, and that I needed to send a decorated bag or box in, for my son to collect his Valentines in. I skimmed the note, made a mental note to pick up a white bag or box of some sort for my son to decorate (as in “scribble some Star Wars characters on” or “slap some stickers on”), and went on about my business. Fast forward a few days later. I am skimming through Facebook, and I see posts…multiple posts….of people proudly posting pictures of their Valentines Boxes. Some were proud. Some were stressing, saying things like “just now remembered I need to have this Valentines Box done by next week. Yikes!” Um…next WEEK? and “yikes”? So many confused thoughts flooded my brain. And I mean it when I say “confused”. I’m not being a smartalic, I’m not being sarcastic, and I’m not being judgmental. I really was just confused. Here are a few of the thoughts that scurried through my mind:

  • This is, like, the box that kids put each others Valentine’s in right? Or is this something else that I don’t know about?
  • Is this a science fair project?
  • People have already starting WORKING on them?
  • Moms are doing them?
  • Am I supposed to do this???
  • A shoe box is frowned upon?
  • What is the “theme” of my (er, my son’s) Valentines Box going to be?
  • Wait a minute, no. I am not doing this.  A shoe box or a bag is totally fine.
  • Wait a minute again, is my kid going to feel bummed out or disappointed if he doesn’t have this big, themed, science-project scaled Valentines Box?
  • Are my friends doing this?
  • Does everyone else know that you are supposed to spend a few weeks before Valentines working on your kids Valentines Box? Why do I not know this?  WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THIS??

So of course I call my two best friends to find out what the heck THEY are doing for their kids Valentines Boxes. Turns out that yes, they have heard of this Infamous Valentines Box, but no, they weren’t really doing them. One of the friends, a former kindergarten teacher herself, said, “Oh yes. Valentines Boxes. A huge part of the Mommy Talent Show. You will continue to encounter this all throughout elementary school. Resist the urge to participate ” RESIST THE URGE TO PARTICIPATE. RESIST THE URGE TO PARTICIPATE, FOLKS.

Hang on. Just hold that thought. We will come back to it.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with Elaborately Decorated Valentines Boxes. It could be that:

  • Going all out with projects like that is just one way you make you child feel loved and special (I can respect and admire that)
  • You LOVE craftiness and creativity, and being able to work on things like this is an outlet for you (I can respect and admire that)
  • Elaborately Decorated Valentines Boxes truly are a BIG deal to your kid, and their Valentines Day won’t be as special without it.  My kid has weird and random things that really matter to him, so I get that (I can respect and admire that).

BUT.

It could be that:

  • You are trying to compete and win in the Mommy Talent Show

And….

You don’t have to! You don’t need to! Resist the urge. Don’t put that pressure on yourself. Don’t put that pressure on all the other moms. Examine your motives. Like I said, it’s one thing if you enjoy this sort of thing. If you enjoy it, you should do it, and if other lazier, less creative moms (that’s me #selfaware) don’t like it, well, that’s not your problem really. But if you feel the need to spend your evenings working on Elaborately Decorated Valentines Boxes when you would RATHER be binge watching Netflix, but you think that if you DON’T spend your evening working on Elaborately Decorated Valentines Boxes then:

  • some other mom will win the talent show
  • the other moms (or the teacher) are going to give you Lame Mom status
  • your kid won’t win the “cutest kid, with cutest box, made by cutest mom EVER” award, then

STOP IT.

It could be that I am living in an alternate universe than Moms Who Do Elaborately Decorated Valentines Boxes. In my universe though, I am already in way over my head with three boys six and under. You know that funny quote that Jim Gaffigan says? He says “you know what it’s like having a fourth kid? Imagine you’re drowning, and then someone hands you a baby”. I sort of feel that way with three kids, and if someone lobs an E.D.V.B project at me….I’m sinking. But that’s just me.

In summary…this post is not meant to judge. There are just some moms who have it all together, who are cool and calm and breezy, who can Keep Calm and Make Valentines Boxes, who can Drink Coffee, Turn on Some Gangsta Rap, and Handle a Valentines Box…I’m just not one of them. And if you aren’t either, then….don’t ; ).

 

Hayley Hengst
Hello AM readers! I'm Hayley. Stay-at-home mom to three boys/angels/tyrants (primarily tyrants). Most days, I am very content in that role. Other days, well, you know how it goes. I absolutely love writing for Austin Moms Blog. I also love: books, bubble baths, Mexican food, porch swings, and traveling. I hate: the hustle and bustle of trying to get out the door, on time, with all three of my kids. Seriously, I just kind of give up. You can read more about my crazy crew at www.motherfreaking.com!

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