Guest Blog by, Heather Kenley
They say it takes a village to raise a child and boy do I know this. I am a single mother of two autistic boys. One is 10 going on 50 and the other, 8 going on 3. I do have a bit of help. My parents live two houses down, but like many of my peers, our parents are aging: my father is in the last stages of Alzheimer’s. Somehow I have been cursed with the letter A. Okay, cursed some days and blessed others.
Back to the village. I do co-parent. Every Monday through Friday for 8 hours a day for seven years now I have had someone with my children all day, every day who is, essentially, the “other parent”. These amazing people have had to do it all; potty training, tantrums, illnesses, 
complete meltdowns and trying to decipher all of the above from a non-verbal child. They’ve shared secret, loving moments that I will never get to experience. Together, my sons have shared laughter, sadness, anger, fear, and sheer exhaustion with their aides. A few of our aides in the past have had to hold my child with all of their strength, sitting on them at times, because he’s bleeding and needs to be “glued shut” (band aids aren’t an option for my youngest). They have heard first words, experienced the first book read aloud. They’ve seen the fruits of their labor blossom. All of our aides, and trust me, there have been many, have raised my boys. Educating my kids is one thing. Special education aides rise far above that. They love, comfort, discipline, and grow with their children. They are family.
What most of you don’t know, is that most aides have families at home. Many of them are parents of special needs kids themselves. And the pay for an aide is next to nothing. These selfless people come to school every day with a smile on their face knowing that this could potentially be the hardest day of their lives. Being a special education aide is not for the mild or weak. These kids are difficult and strong. It’s very frustrating at times. Some days I know they feel like they have hit a brick wall, but these kids will also work their butts off for them. They have huge hearts that are made of gold. Aides have to compromise, gain lost trust, get into their heads and try to understand. These people are parents, psychiatrists, mentors, teachers, friends, and so much more. It is wonderful, meaningful work that goes unnoticed by most.
Without special education aides at our public schools, many of us would look to private schools or tutoring at home. They are the backbone to special education and without them children wouldn’t thrive. My children wouldn’t be where they are today.
There are no words that can sufficiently say how much I love these ladies and gentleman that have had my children in their care all day. Marry me may be the closest thing that comes to mind! They don’t know it but for five days a week they are my better half.
Thank you to the 23 special education aides we have had over the years and thank you to all of those helping out children like mine. Your efforts, love and attention are applauded and praised every day. I look forward to your smiling faces every morning.
A beautifully written post <3 Heather hit the nail squarely on its head. It's hard to put into words how much it means to a mother when others "get" her kiddo. It can be flat out exhausting when you have to continually explain/translate/justify your child's particular requirements. I remember the first time I walked into a school classroom that had been geared toward my son's needs. I felt a sense of relief and optimism that almost brought me to tears. Thank you, thank you to the dedicated women and men who work in the public school system. Their efforts, every day, with my son have been invaluable. I'll never be able to fully express how much it means to me.