If motherhood is about anything at all, it’s about letting go.
Don’t believe me?
Think about it.
Motherhood is…
Letting go of the body you once had in order to grow new life… Some things get bigger. Some things (woefully) get smaller. Things get looser. Flabbier. Maybe permanently, maybe not. But if nothing else, for nine months at least, that ideal body image? You’ve got to let it go.
Letting go of your best laid BIG plans… You wanted a natural birth? Well sister, you just may end up with a c-section. You envisioned your son being a star athlete? He’s got two left feet. Always dreamed of having a big family? One child is all that was in the cards for you. Felt like you were a “one and done” kind of girl? You’re totally having triplets. Thought you would always live in the same city as your parents, so the children could be near their grandparents? Then that job transfer came along, and now you are finding yourself in a city where you know no one, and have no family nearby. Your plans are awesome and all…but you might have to let them go.
Letting go of your best laid LITTLE plans… You are going to be ON TIME today…but they are going to need to poop right as you are walking out the door. You are going to go out with friends tonight…but they are going to throw up right before the sitter gets there. You could get super frustrated about all of this, or…you could just let it go.
Letting go of your selfishness…It’s not all about you anymore. It’s not even mostly about you. Let’s be honest…it’s not AT ALL about you. It’s about them. It kind of sucks sometimes, honestly. You could sit around and be pissed for the next 20 years, waiting for all of them to grow up so it can be “all about you again,” or you could just let it go, and be thankful God put a plan in place to rid you of your icky selfishness.
Letting go of other people’s expectations of you… It isn’t very far into your motherhood journey before you come to the realization that everyone around you has their own set of standards and expectations for what “Good Mom” looks like. Grandparents, your friends, the other moms at school, whatever. You are going to die on the battlefield if you don’t get over that QUICKLY. You can’t please everyone, and if it’s the goal of your life to try, you are going to wear yourself out. I kind of hate that phrase that seems to be so popular right now…”you do you”…but seriously, do.
Letting go of each stage… They can’t stay a baby forever. It’s so hard to accept that. Especially when it’s your last baby. They can’t stay little forever. You have to move boldly and courageously into each new stage…with happy anticipation. Not desperately trying to hold on to the stage that you love so much…just letting go, and gracefully moving on to the next one.
Letting go of control… When it comes to raising your children, there are some things you can control, but there are so many more that you can’t. I heard someone say the other day, in regards to parenting, “you are responsible for the process, NOT the product.” Meaning, you are responsible for what you teach your children, what you model for them, the choices you make on their behalf while they are still living in your house, their care, etc, but you CANNOT control the outcome of all of that. You cannot control the decisions they will make once they leave your house. You cannot control all of the people or influences they will be exposed to. You cannot control the mean kid in class who doesn’t like them, the coach who doesn’t put them in the game often enough, the other cars on the road around them once they start driving, the spouse that they choose, or the unforseen tragedies that could potentially befall them. You are responsible for the process, not the product, and you have to let go of your control.
Last but not least…
Letting THEM go… The hardest part of all. Good parenting is ultimately all about preparing your children to leave you. No one (including me) really likes the sound of that, but it’s true. Your job as a parent is to teach your child everything they need to know, so that they can eventually LEAVE, go out into the world, and become a responsible, productive, contributing member of society, who are able to think for themselves, make decisions for themselves, treat other people with respect and dignity, and be all that God made them to be. They can’t do that though, if you can’t LET THEM GO.
Letting go. It’s not easy. But luckily, we get lots of practice. Nine months+18 years worth, to be exact.
Here’s to letting go.
