I will never forget our first date. Completely smitten, I gushed at you. Feeling my small world and heart open with possibility, I timidly approached the question, “Do you see yourself having children?” I will never forget your answer, “I hadn’t. You?” (Damn girl! Be cool! Be cool!) “Ummm I am not sure. I had never really met anyone before where that seemed like a real possibility with… so I sort of stopped thinking about it.” OK… this was true and also complete BS. It was all I could think about, but I had all but given up hope, until… well until I met you. My gut about you was spot on. I will proudly gloat that you were the best decision I have ever made. You are our rock. I have never witnessed someone experience such joy around their child, and I know you cannot wait to meet your son too! Watching you I am reminded to appreciate the moment, the second… to gulp it in and then swallow the love thick air.
We laugh together when our daughter has lost her mind — hey it happens to the best of us. We smile together proudly at every tiny milestone our daughter confidently embraces… We cried together during our times of loss… And together we excitedly anticipate the arrival of our son Henry.
My heart has grown, stretched and bounced back in ways I could of never imagined. Thank you for the amazing father you are. And I curiously ask you now, one year into this thing called parenthood, “What does fatherhood mean to you?” I think you said it best in this letter to our children.
With love from your wife,
Dearest Adelyn and Henry,
Being a father is amazing! But I didn’t always want to be one. Changing diapers, cleaning up spit up, and the endless crying…no thank you! I spent most of my adult life avoiding cute little beasts like you. I know, I know… It’s surprising when you consider how much I enjoy playing with your toys or laughing together when dad spills one of his awesome “dad jokes.”
I owe all my credit to your mother. She was the missing puzzle piece that gave me the will to try. You see, before I met your mother, most of my nights were spent playing video games and pondering the next terrible day of work. My life had no sustenance — just one boring day after another. I met your mother on October 27th, 2012 and she was beautiful. When I first looked at her, time stopped and for what was only a moment, I saw our future — I saw you. It was some time after that when your mom and I would start dating and in only a few weeks, we fell in love. For the next two years, of what can only be interpreted as major life changing events, we got engaged, quit our jobs, moved states, bought a house, and got married. Your mom and dad had a lot of catching up to do.
Guess what happened next? Yep, Adelyn, you have it right — we met YOU! I can still remember that day. It was just after your Mom’s and my first anniversary. Leaves were falling from the oaks and spring was in the air (my favorite season by the way). Meeting you was one of the best experiences of my life. Most people will tell you that when you have a kid you’re going to be exhausted and you will have no time. While this might be true in some respects, that’s only the smallest piece of the puzzle. Nothing was more rewarding than holding you and watching you smile. Or taking you that bottle when you were hungry. Now, every day when I come home, I look forward to that scream of excitement you give me when I open the door. It’s still amazing when I think about it — I am a father!
Soon, Henry, you will come into our lives and I know it will be life changing again. My heart will fill up with more of the mushy, gushy stuff (I don’t like to talk about that but yes, dads have it too). Both you and your sister will make my day and every day that I will spend with you will be more amazing than the last. The both of you will grow up and be my best of friends. No matter what happens in your life, know that I will always be there for you. I will always be right by your sides. I love you both so much.