Perks of Having Kids Close TogetherMy daughter was 10 months old when that little pregnancy stick told me I was pregnant. I quickly took two more tests that I had stashed under my bathroom sink, and watched with amazement how fast those lines popped up. I stood in the bathroom for a hot minute and stared at myself in the mirror, while my baby was crawling and climbing up on my legs. How could I have another baby when I had one right now? She was just crawling. I was carrying her constantly. And now I would have to carry her and the baby inside me all the time. WHOA.

I quickly calculated, and realized that my daughter would be a mere 18 months old when this new baby would make his or her debut. We hadn’t planned it. Hadn’t even thought about it or talked about having our kiddos that close in age. We had just assumed that we would have them spaced to where they would be more “handleable.” But…life’s funny. And I’m here to tell you there is no spacing between kids that makes it easy. No matter what you choose (or don’t choose!) it will be hard, because parenting is tough no matter how you slice it.

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We knew in our heart of hearts that this was obviously a blessing. Conceiving our first wasn’t as simple, with many nights and numerous months spent in tears. She was our rainbow baby. And here I was, still nursing her, on the pill, and yet, I was pregnant. The odds were completely against us. And we felt truly and utterly blessed. Completely grateful with how things were turning out for us to become a family of four.

Fast forward a year into having both kids. My son who is one now, and my daughter who is two and a half. Yup. A year and a half apart. Everywhere I go, I get lots of interesting questions and comments like “wow, you have your hands full!” or “You’re brave!” or my absolute favorite (sense the sarcasm) “Did you plan this?” which more often than not is said in a bit of a sneering tone. I always reply with the happiest tone, because it’s fun, “I didn’t, but I LOVE it even though it’s hard as hell!”

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And here’s why:

Sleep.

Or I guess I should talk about the lack of it. If I’m going to go through sleepless nights, may as well do it in one fell swoop. It would’ve been a lot more brutal if we had gotten used to the idea of sleeping, and then re-introduced those tough nights of zero sleep and being a mombie all day, errday.

Playing together.

I haven’t reaped the full benefits of this, but I’m starting to see the two of them interact, and find a playmate in each other…instead of me! HA. I have a few friends who also have kids very close in age, and I see how well their kids play together and always have a buddy at home! I know that as they grow together, they really will have each other. They already count on each other every time we are in a new situation or place. I’ve noticed they huddle close and depend on each other in a new environment.

Same stage.

This is huge. Whether we are talking about baby items like cribs/carseats/toys or potty training and diapers. It helps to have baby/toddler toys that they both play with before they both move onto bigger toys. The advantage there is that I don’t have to store much after they are done with it! I get rid of everything that my little one grows out of.

Another advantage is food. Typically, the meals I make for my toddler, I can break it up into small pieces for the baby. They are still both in diapers (working on potty training my older one) but I know that when I’m done with diapers with my son, I’ll be DONE. Same follows with the potty training. Carseats. Strollers. All of it. Stages of life in general will also follow around the same time. Starting school, driving, and other large milestones. It’ll all happen around the same time and I’m excited about it that they will also get to experience it together.

My body.

Yes I’m selfish, but I just went through years of either trying to conceive or pregnant or nursing. I just finally put my son on whole milk and this is the first time in almost four years that I’m in real control of my body. I can eat what I want or don’t want to eat. Or let’s face it, I can have that cocktail without pumping and dumping… THE WORST am I right mamas?

I can workout without worrying if I’m hurting that baby inside me, or if all of a sudden my supply will drop and I won’t be able to nurse. I can attempt to get back into shape! (I just cackled as I wrote that statement.) Now, don’t get me wrong. I loved growing two humans inside me and the concept blows my mind somedays, but it’s hella hard being pregnant and nurturing people with our bodies.

Leaving the nest.

My kids are going to be one grade apart. My daughter will start kindergarten in three years, and then my son will follow suit the following year. They’ll graduate around the same time whether it’s their pre-k graduation, high school, or college. They will both launch around the same time, and it’ll just be me and the hubs again. Call me crazy but I’d like to rip that band aid off at the same-ish time, since we will have to figure out the empty nester phase! Doing it back to back sounds tough, but I’m hoping the emotional toll will be less instead of it staggered! #hereshoping

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Now I understand that there is a giant con like having to pay for two college tuitions so close together, or having to cough up money for two pre-school tuitions, but I honestly believe that my pros outweigh my con by a million times. And yes, I hear you mamas right now who are saying that they love having kids far apart, and they swear by it and this is just all bologna.

There are definitely pros to having kids far apart in age. My sister is 11 years younger, and yes it was planned by my parents (Crazy right?!). We are the closest EVER, and we have never fought simply because we have never had anything to fight about. I’m like a second mom to her, and she comes to me with so many different problems because I can give her advice on life lessons that I’ve already experienced. So like I said, parenting is no cakewalk, and there is definitely no right age gap.

In my opinion, I happened to luck out, and have babies a year and a half apart and I absolutely love it.

4 COMMENTS

  1. Great article! Mine are 14 months apart, 6 & 7, boy and girl. They are often asked if they are twins. 🙂 It was so hard the first 5 years, but this summer they have really enjoyed each other. Another big perk is that they both have similar age friends, that makes it easy and more fun. Wouldn’t trade it for the world. 🙂

  2. So true! When my third arrived I had 3 babies 3 and under! I can’t tell you how many people asked if it was planned. Why yes, it certainly was. I’m exhausted, all of the time, but it will pass and I’ll be well rested, but I know I’ll miss it. I do pray nightly that my babies find true friends in one another.

  3. I have daughters that are 10 months apart and a son that is only 16 months from the youngest daughter. When they were young it was tough, I’m pretty convinced it’s what led to my divorce, but now that they are 8, 9 & 10 I wouldn’t change it for anything, they are all three the best of friends!

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