“Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ’til tomorrow, for babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, and dust go to sleep, I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep”

– Ruth Hubert Hamilton

(annnnnd…Ruth totally has a cleaning person)

“The dishes can wait, they’re only little once”

– Some Other Author With a Cleaning Person

The dishes can wait? Can they? Can they really? What are we eating on, in this situation? Paper plates? Just throwing food directly onto the table (I’m not above doing either of those things, and actually HAVE on occasion, but still…)

And the cleaning and scrubbing? It can maybe wait for a BIT. At some point though, it’s gotta be done. While a little bit of cobwebs and dust may make you feel all “I’m laid back. I play with my kids. I’m not ashamed of a little bit of cobweb and dust. I’m keeping it real,” let’s face it. Kids are responsible for things a lot grosser than some fairy tale cottage-like “cobwebs and dust.”  Just yesterday, my two-year-old smeared poop from his diaper onto his bedroom door, and my 6-year-old conducted a science experiment in his room, consisting of ham and grass (I have no idea).

Awhile back, I failed to sweep a hard-to-reach corner of my breakfast room for some time (like months years), and eventually found a roly poly colony had set up shop there. I continued to overlook even THAT, until the day I caught my 9-month-old eating a few of them.

While I love the idea of rolling around on the floor all day with my kids, blissful and care-free, I don’t want to get up from rolling around with them to find a dirty diaper plastered to my back or something.  What I’m saying is, someone has to do take care of crap around the house (like sometimes actual crap) and that someone is…me.

I get the point of all the sweet little poems and quotes and memes. Childhood DOES go by quickly, and I don’t want to be an empty-nester full of regret one day…reminiscing on the “little years” and thinking about how I was always to to BUSY to just BE with my kids.

So what’s the happy medium?

Summer has brought this dilemma to a head. When the kids are in school, it’s much easier to get stuff done. But they’ve ALL been home…ALL the time…for the last two weeks, and I’m finding myself scratching my head (in confusion, yes, but also because my hair is dirty. There’s no time to clean YOURSELF in the summer either) in my cobwebby corner, wondering WHEN exactly I’m supposed to get anything done??

So here is what I came up with the other day. I intend to start implementing this yesterday, and am hopeful that it will allow me to crap done, but also not feel like a crappy and neglectful parent.

1) Allow the Kids to Help

For a household to run smoothly, dishes DO need to be done, clothes DO need to be washed, trash DOES need to be taken out. And as any mom knows, that’s just three of about 380 other things. So let the kids do these chores WITH you. You are spending time together. They are learning responsibility. Tasks get completed quicker, resulting in more time to play. It’s a win for all.

2) Work a Little, Play a Little

Start the day with play. Give them the attention they crave. Let it be good. Then once their little buckets have been filled with all the love and quality time they can handle, switch gears. Have them go entertain themselves for a bit, while you get your task done. Once they start to fall apart (or you do) switch back to play.

3) When You Are Spending Time With Them, Truly BE With THEM

If you are, you won’t feel guilty about the time you AREN’T spending with them. However, if all of your “quality time” was spent checking your phone, talking on your phone, scanning the house, mentally taking note of everything that needs to be done, or tidying up while you “play,” you are going to feel guilty and torn whenever you send them off for their alone play time. They are going to feel unfulfilled, and so are you.

4) Prioritize

Is it something that truly needs to be done? Sometimes I find myself all in a tizzy…frustrated, irritated, and stressed out…because I “desperately” “need” to do something, and my kids aren’t allowing me to do it. Later, after the dust has settled, I realize (with much guilt and remorse) that it wasn’t even that important of a thing, and it could have waited for naptime, bedtime, or even just not at all. Other times though, the thing…whatever it may be….really does NEED to be done. And when that’s the case, you need to just…

5) Get Over It: (the guilt that is)

Crap has to be done, you’re the gal to do it, and your kids can and should learn to be ok with that.

If you can raise happy, healthy kids, who ALWAYS know they are loved, who MOST of the time have clean clothes to wear (albeit mismatched), whose smears on the cabinets in their room can USUALLY be chalked up to crayon, not poop, and whose toilet, while unacceptable for guests, is at least sanitary enough for THEM to use….you’re probably doing ok.