being-a-boy-mom

I’m a boy mom. An ALL boy mom. Yup, there’s three of them…four, if you count the grown one, who contributed in the production of the other three.

I’m a boy mom, an ALL boy mom, of THREE boys, and yet…I don’t know all that much about how to be a good boy mom. If you are reading this hoping for some tips, you’ve come to the wrong place. These are nothing more than my musings.

On being a boy mom….

Well for one thing, I’m not cut out to be one. For real. I swear I would have made a better girl mom.  You know what I like? I like quiet. Calm. Reading. Writing. A little bit of dress up.. a LOT a bit of Barbies…and painting nails. You know what I don’t really like? Dirt.  Noise. Dirty noise. Noisy dirt.  And I don’t like Star Wars. You know what I deal with all day? Yeah, those latter things. Being a boy mom means every day I am grown and stretched beyond comprehension, as I do my best to rise to the occasion and roll with the punches…often times, literally.

A boy mom. Yeah, I’m not cut out to be one, but I’m so glad that I am one. For one thing, little boys are fantastic at making sure you know that you are their best girl. Even when you don’t deserve to be. Even when you’ve acted like a tyrant all day…it’s still you they want the most. They want mama, mama, and more mama. There is no shortage of hugs and kisses and snuggles. I have an abundance of flower-giving in life. A plethora of hand-holding and “one more good-night kiss” begging. They will open doors for you, and they will write you love letters. They are sweet, SWEET little things…dirty and noisy though they may be. Also, their loudness and craziness, even though it goes against my grain, keeps things interesting around here. Our house is definitely full of spirit, and I love it.

And on that note, I’m learning that their spirit isn’t something that is supposed to be tamed. I spend a lot of time telling my boys to calm down, settle down, quiet down…and I shouldn’t. Well, maybe SOMEtimes I should. But they are BUILT to run and be loud and wild and crazy and rough, and who am I to try to stamp that out of them? Spirit is a good thing, and rue the one who breaks someone else’s.

All of that spirit is a lot to handle though, and sometimes I find myself thinking, “leave me alone!!! Give me some space!! Go away!!!” and then I remember…one day, they actually ARE going to “go away.” And the thing about boys, is that they tend to “go away” in a much more “away” way than girls.  I know this isn’t true for ALL boys, but if we are generalizing a bit, I’d say it’s more typical for a girl to grow up and still call her mama every day, than for a boy to. Grown-up girls seem to still need their moms more than grown-up boys do.

Well now that’s just sad.

Right now, my boys need me TOO much. They need me so much, every moment, that sometimes I don’t feel like I have one single thing left to give them. But one day they won’t. At least not all that much.  They will be busy with careers and hobbies and wives and children of their own. That’s why I’d better start figuring out RIGHT NOW how to be a darn good mother-in-law. After all, these ladies will be the closest things I ever have to daughters, and the link to my elusive sons.    

What else have I learned? Well, I’ve learned that it’s mostly all normal. “It” being the weird. The gross. The bizarre. The penis stuff. The pee stuff. The scratch-their-butt stuff. The potty talk…or just any and everything having to do with “the potty.” I have had thoughts before like, “other boys are NOT this gross,” “other boys do NOT talk about things like this,” “other boys have NOT tried to do that”…and then I talk to my fellow boy-mom friends and find out “yes they are/do/have.”  Whatever it is your boy is doing, that seems so foreign to you…it’s probably normal.

Which is why I’m REALLY thankful for their dad. He may be a man now, but he was a boy once, and therefore better equipped (ahem) to handle some of this stuff. Furthermore, he teaches them what it means to be a man…by showing them. That’s something I would have an awfully hard time doing.

Seven years into it, and this is what I have figured out about having boys.

I have no doubt that the next eleven years will continue to be an adventure, filled with learning, growing, grossness, tenderness, and…noise.

 

Hayley Hengst
Hello AM readers! I'm Hayley. Stay-at-home mom to three boys/angels/tyrants (primarily tyrants). Most days, I am very content in that role. Other days, well, you know how it goes. I absolutely love writing for Austin Moms Blog. I also love: books, bubble baths, Mexican food, porch swings, and traveling. I hate: the hustle and bustle of trying to get out the door, on time, with all three of my kids. Seriously, I just kind of give up. You can read more about my crazy crew at www.motherfreaking.com!

3 COMMENTS

  1. Amen and amen! I have 5 boys. We do loud and messy well. Very well. And I wouldn’t trade it for all the peace and quiet in the world! I have my one girl to help with the estrogen balance. Oh, and my greatest gift to those future wives? Teaching my boys to pee sitting down.

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