A Call to Action to the Single Mamas, Raising Boys

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I am a (happily) single mom to a beautiful and sweet little boy. His dad and I split  when he was 4 months old. For the last 2 years I’ve pretty much been nailing it.  I have felt confident in the way that I am raising my boy; and with the help of my amazing mom and a network of friends, I have never ever felt like my son was missing anything.

But this week, it hit me. It hit me hard. In light of this “locker room talk” slang that has been circulating the media, I began to think, and like mamas do, I began to worry.
 
Where does this behavior begin? Is it preventable? Are little boys without a strong father figure in the picture consistently, doomed to a life where they don’t respect women?  Is this something I can tackle? Solo?
 
 My boy has never seen mommy with daddy. He’s never seen mommy and daddy hold hands. There has never been a night where mommy did bath and daddy did story.
 
He hasn’t lived in a household where his mother is respected and honored and loved on by a man. He doesn’t have a man around teaching him manners, showing him that real men treat women with dignity. Can I possibly do it all?
 
On top of the nurturing, the boo-boo kissing, the bedtime rocking and everything else that comes with motherhood, I now feel compelled, more than ever, to ensure my baby boy grows into an incredible, respectful, woman-honoring man.
 
I feel compelled now more than ever, to instill in him, strong boundaries when it comes to girls.
 
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I need him to understand that, no means no and that a woman’s body is hers. Raising him to know that women are smart, and powerful and worthy. I want him to open doors, I want him to send them flowers and most importantly I want him to know that women are equally as important as men.
 
So, how can I ensure this happens? How can I know that he is actively learning these behaviors if he’s not witnessing them on a daily basis?
 
For the first time EVER, I feel ill equipped to do this on my own. I need help;  and to my fellow single moms, specifically of boys, this is a call to action.
 
We need to enlist help.
 
Then we must work hard, harder than we already work, right now, today, to show our boys what love and respect looks like toward women.
 
Recruit your friends and ask their husbands to help show our boys what this looks like! Surround your sons with incredible examples of men, whether that be family members, teachers or coaches. If you are dating, I beg you, to make sure you are dating someone who can show your son the way that mommy should be loved.
 
Our boys deserve to know from the start that disrespecting women is never going to be cool. “Boys will be boys,” is not an excuse for lewd and irresponsible behavior. How you talk in the locker room should be how you talk at the dinner table. Period. End of story.
 
So to my fellow single moms; who are doing this alone, who have felt empowered along this journey in solo motherhood…our boys deserve everything we’ve got to protect them from what is seemingly becoming the norm.
 
It is our duty to raise the next generation of good men; and we cannot do it alone.
 

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One Response to A Call to Action to the Single Mamas, Raising Boys

  1. Hank October 27, 2016 at 7:53 am #

    i just came cross this article. I mentored several teenaged dudes when I was a part of a church. I saw the impact I had on them and their mothers were always grateful.

    Just a question, is your ex nowhere in the picture helping to raise your son?

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