I know a vaginal birth is best, ok?
It’s safer. It’s the way God designed it. It’s less risk to the baby and the mother. The recovery time is shorter.
But look, as it turns out, some of our hoo-has just don’t want to DO that, and you’ll never believe it…even when a hoo-ha revolts, crosses it’s arms, stomps its feet and refuses to cooperate with what it was designed to do…you can still get ‘yer baby out.
It’s called a C-SECTION, and IT’S NOT THAT BAD!
I kind of loved mine. I’m not even kidding.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I secretly kind of hoped I’d end up having a c-section. Who wishes for that?? Me, Natural-Birthers. That’s who. And I don’t even feel ashamed. I wouldn’t have gone so far as to ASK for it. I’m not going to ASK for anything that’s less than the absolute best for my baby. But, I secretly wanted it. Surgery doesn’t scare me a bit. Having big things force their way out of little things kinda does. I’m just being honest, ok?? Plus, having been a c-section baby myself, knowing my husband was a c-section baby, and having witnessed all my siblings delivered via c-section, it just didn’t seem like the end of the world to me.
Anyway, my weird wish came true, as my “selfish doctor who just preferred c-sections because it’s easier on his schedule” (that’s the reason doctors perform c-sections after all, right?) wanted to keep his schedule clear to, I guess, go play golf or something the week of my due date, and decided to schedule us for a c-section a few days before. (There were legit reasons involved, I promise).
My husband and I high-fived and fist-bumped each other (secretly, while still in the office, and then for real, once we got home), and then called up the grandparents and said, “Hey, clear your schedule for Monday morning at 7. Your first grandbaby will be here.”
Which brings me to…
Reason #1 Why I’m Team C-Section:
You can PLAN! (Well, assuming you are a scheduled c-section, that is). You’re not going into labor while in the middle of shopping for your groceries at HEB. Nope, not you. You’re going to bed at a reasonable hour the night before, having your bags already packed, your house clean and ready to go, your pet/childcare already arranged, mentally prepared to embark upon the most life-altering event of your life the next day. That seems like a nice way to welcome a child into the world, in my opinion.
Reason #2 Why I’m Team C-Section:
That baby comes out QUICKLY! I’m talking 15 minute, start to finish. There’s nothing else that even needs to be said here. And I’m not exaggerating. In, out, done. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am! I’ll take my baby now, please. Oh, and I haven’t even broken a sweat over this whole ordeal.
Reason #3 Why I’m Team C-Section:
You get to stay in the hospital longer! Well who wants to do that?? I’ll tell you who. Anyone who is returning home to other children, that’s who. And anyone with any sense. When you go home, it’s ON. Get your game face ready. Never nursed one child while another one crawls all over you? You’re about to! Never tried to break up a fight between siblings while cradling an infant in your arms? You’re about to! Girl, get ready. But not today!
Today, and for the next 3 days, YOU are going to get to lounge around in your hospital bed, watching episode after episode of Fixer Upper on your hospital TV, while all your favorite peeps stop by and bring you treats. Is your wee one a little fussy today? There’s a nurse for that! Nursing not going so well? Someone will come and POSITION your BOOB for you. Want your drink poured over perfect nugget ice? There’s an ice machine down the hall that produces that, and probably a nurse willing to bring it to you. Is this all very diva-like? Um…yeah. The reality is that your diva days are about to come crashing around you soon…very soon…but you, c-section mama, get to ride this whole thing out for 1-2 extra days. Embrace it.
Well alright then. Some of this is written in jest. Have a sense of humor, will ya? A c-section is not the ideal. If you have birthing hips, and your vagina will cooperate, you absolutely should have a vaginal birth. Really.
ALL I’M SAYING IS…if you DON’T have those things working for ya…
It’s not the end of the world. The end result is still the same. You are no less a mother or a woman than The Pushers. You don’t need to feel less than. No one needs to feel sorry for you, and you don’t need to feel sorry for yourself. You’re still a mama, your body still did something freaking amazing, and you still have precious new life in your arms. It’s all good.
P.S. You can be lookin’ all pretty and stuff in your postpartum pictures, and the rest of them can’t.
P.S.S I didn’t, because I basically look like a monster from Day 1 of pregnancy. But you can. You totally should have your beach waves intact, and your makeup on point, and flash a gorgeous, non-sweaty, not smeary eye-makeup smile for your “just delivered” pic.