First vs Second Pregnancy: My How Things Change

The first time you get pregnant is SO special. Everything is new, you’re experiencing a whole host of new emotions and sensations, and you’re evolving into a mommy. You’ve got nine savory months of just you and that little baby in your belly; you spend your evenings reading pregnancy books and your weekends decorating the nursery. You make it a point to sing to the belly, you take weekly bump pics and you daydream about what little one will look like. All your Facebook friends are likely following along with your regular updates about kicks, pics of your swollen feet and the clever onesies you bought off Etsy, and peppering you with compliments and excited emojis.  

And then you get knocked up a second time, and things are just… different. It’s not that you care less the second time around, your life (and priorities, and schedule) is just different now! You’re a busy mom, and the “newness” of pregnancy is long gone, taking with it most of that glow and excitement (including the excitement from your social circle, half of whom probably think you’re insane for doing this all over again). 

As I look back on my pregnancy with Baby #2, here are the top things I would say were totally different this go around:

The Baby Bump

With my first pregnancy, I was all “Ugh, I’m 15 weeks and people can’t even TELL I’m pregnant. Maybe if I try really hard to push this belly out people will see my adorable baby bump.” With my second pregnancy, it was more like, “Hey honey? Does this pregnancy test look positive to you?” – and BAM! 10 seconds later I looked like I was in my second trimester.

The Research

That first pregnancy, countless hours are spent reading all the popular baby books, finding your favorite mommy blogs, browsing the helpful/terrifying posts in baby forums and basically absorbing ALL THE INFO. Second pregnancy, the only books I’m reading are Giraffes Can’t Dance for the 247th time. It’s not that I wouldn’t love a refresher on “What to Expect when Expecting”… but ain’t nobody got time for that. 

The Doctor Visits

Those first pregnancy midwife visits were marked on the calendar,  I’d prep questions in advance, I’d cherish the sonogram printouts, and I’d even take my hubs with me. This pregnancy I have missed three appointments, my husband hasn’t even MET my OBGYN and I’m pretty sure the one sono pic I took home is on the floor of my car next to old Cheerios and an old sippy cup I’m afraid to open.  

The Food Choices

I recently had a newly-preggo coworker scold me for eating queso because, “Isn’t that a soft cheese?” Nevermind the fact that being melted does not a soft cheese make (*eye roll*), the point is first-timers avoid the no-no foods like the plague. Second time around, I’ll take a ham and turkey club with an overeasy egg and brie, with spicy tuna rolls to start. And a small glass of vino to wash it down, please. 

The Paying Attention 

Ask me how many weeks along I am and I’ll say, “I dunno. I’m due in February. You do the math.” Last time around I obsessively checked my BabyCenter app and could tell you to the DAY how far along I was. With my first pregnancy I paid a LOT of attention — I felt every kick, lamented every symptom, knew every fruit size.  This time around I mostly forget I’m growing a human until I get a mean kick to the cervix. 

The Reaction of Others 

“Oh my gosh how far along are you?” is usually very quickly followed by, “Is this your first?” And when I tell people it’s my second they typically lose that sparkle in their eye, that excitement in their voice, and very unenthusiastically say something like, “Oh.  So you’ve done this before.” Yep.  Growing a human being for the second time. #nobigdeal

The Exhaustion

Oh man, with my first pregnancy I was soooooo tired. Like all the time. I remember spending entire weekends doing nothing but laying in bed and watching The Good Wife. With my second pregnancy, I didn’t really feel that intense exhaustion. Oh wait. That’s because as a working mom to a toddler I’m exhausted ALL THE TIME. I guess I’ve just gotten used to functioning with my eyes half open.  

The Pampering

Prenatal what? Oh right, back with my first pregnancy I had prenatal massages, prenatal yoga and heck – I even remembered to take my prenatal vitamins every day! When you’re a mama it’s hard to find time for pampering, and that doesn’t change when you get knocked up. Gone are the days of long lunches, manicures, massages and group classes.  At least my husband gives a mean foot run (though not nearly enough, hint hint if you’re reading this). 

The Maternity Clothes

Last week my husband said, “Did you wear that to work?” When I told him yes, he said “You look like you’re wearing pajamas.” Yeah, that’s the point! With my first pregnancy I wanted to have that “cute” pregnant look; after all, new preggos want to rock the bump. This time, I dress for comfort first and foremost. I also now know its better to invest in a handful of quality, comfortable outfits rather than a bunch of cheap maternity wear… so I pretty much wear the same thing all the time.  

The Prep Work

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel kind of guilty that I’m doing a whole lot less planning and prepping for baby #2.  My first kid’s nursery was meticulously designed, every article of clothing carefully selected, diaper bag chock full of supplies. I had freezer meals, the house spotless at all times, a detailed birth plan and the carseat installed 3 months early. This time, baby #2 is getting some new curtains in the existing nursery, we’ll throw some newborn onesies in the diaper bag on the way out the door to the hospital, and we’ll probably install the carseat in the hospital parking lot after we Amazon Prime it to our room. #makingitwork

In what ways were your subsequent pregnancies different from the first? 

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