A Love Letter to My Son on Valentine’s Day

 
 
Hey kiddo, it’s mom.
 
For about a year now I have been writing handwritten notes to you and your sister in memory books. Typically this is reserved for birthdays, big events and special occasions. Things you may want to remember as you grow.
 
But, as the oldest child, you and I have been having a lot of moments lately and I felt you deserved a greater message from me. A mix between a love letter and a snapshot of mementos during this short toddlerhood time of your life.
 
At not-yet 5 years old, you still have a lot to experience, but for some beautiful reason you were blessed with an old soul. I often sit and watch the way you approach the world and let me tell you, it’s beyond amazing. Fascinating actually. You are calm, yet confident. You are shy, yet have a sweet sense of humor. You teach empathy to those around you, without even being told. (Because everyone knows empathy is the one thing I severely lack in life- so you didn’t get that from me! I’m learning it from you.)
 
Just this morning you suggested we take some of our home-made brownies to your favorite teacher at school. 
 
The other day Dad wasn’t feeling well, so you brought him your own Cuddly Fox to snuggle with as a way to console him.
 
Other times I catch you explaining things to your little sister in such a patient voice, (when not fighting with her) I’m amazed that you aren’t actually 40 years old. 
 
You have so much love in your tiny heart I like to say, “His heart is three sizes too large.” Quite the opposite of our favorite holiday hero The Grinch.
 
But my son, what I love about you the most is:

How much you remind me of your dad… it could be something little like the way you both stand with one hip popped out to the side, or something bigger like the way you observe those around you before diving into a situation. 

Your thirst for knowledge… 1000 questions just isn’t enough for you. There’s always one more.

That you really don’t know the difference between a soccerball, baseball, basketball and football… you will someday, on your own terms. And if you never do, that is ok. 

Your eyes…especially when your long whitish hair isn’t tousled up and hiding them.

Your sense of adventure…even when it brings you to the edge of a large cliff, stream or other dangerous situation.

That you have zero rhythm when you wiggle and dance… keep dancing to your own beat.

When you put others before yourself…. a true gentleman. Your grandpa would be proud.

Your obsession with Legos and creating something from nothing… Never lose that ambition.

How you carry a notebook and pencil around with you… just like me! You never know when inspiration will strike.

You still ask for a big squeeze when something upsets you…and that you still reach out to hold my hand when walking down the street.

Your understanding of what it means to be a family… because you cry as much as I do when your grandparents head back home on airplanes.
 
Before I had you, the future made me feel uncertain and uneasy, because I wasn’t sure of the woman I was meant to become. But now I look forward to the journey ahead with you kiddo, guiding you toward the man YOU are supposed to become. 
 
And after this never-ending phase of snack requests, I image someday we’ll have deeper conversations as you discover your role in this world. I can’t wait.
 
I will love you dearly Little Man, until the day you become a Big Man and beyond.
 
You are my person, the other part of my soul and when people talk about their “other half” they usually mean husband, but when I think about it, I always think of you.
 
Without you, I wouldn’t be me. 
 
So on this Valentine’s Day I want to say thank you, for blessing me with this amazing job as your Mama.
 
I love you to the moon and back kid. 
 
Love Always,
Mama
 
 

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