So here is the deal. Once upon a time I woke up one day (about a month ago), and was like “Today I will be the put-together mom I have always dreamed of.” I don’t know why the sudden commitment to like be a better person… it must have been around New Years Day or something. I thought to myself, “Today I will workout, clean the whole house, work during my children’s naps, host a proper play date, and cook a home cooked meal for dinner.” Bahaha! Me so funny sometimes.
Oh my! LITERALLY the only time I sat down that day was when I was nursing newbie or peeing. I was so tired by the time my husband came home I just sort of zombied (yes “zombied” is a word y’all because I just made it up and I think it’s awesome) the kids over to him and fell asleep that night at 7 PM. All day my brain was darting bad and forth like a madwoman constantly trying to time the day to perfection so that for once in my life I could complete the day with every ‘to-do’ item checked off. Yeah that day SUCKED. I was there for my children but never really present. Don’t get me wrong, I am not at all saying that put-together moms are not present. What I am saying is that they are a different species than me, and their brains must work waaaay better than mine!
Are you a Hot Mess Mom and afraid of being judged? Girl, if we only have the time to be a hot mess, we don’t have the time to have judgmental friends in our world anyways. I don’t know about you, but when I go to someone’s house that is actually messier than mine, all I feel is respect and sweet relief like I have found one of my own kind. To me, that is one confident woman that is capable of presenting her life and home to me without feeling the need to camouflage her world.
I am what you could call a Hot Mess Mom.
You MIGHT be a Hot Mess Mom too if:
- Your child wears PJs to school, except for on pajama day. No seriously, this actually happened to me two days ago. I was so proud of myself for getting my daughter to school only 15 minutes late (ahem) actually dressed in a cute outfit for once when all of a sudden I noticed giant signs everywhere that said Pajama Day! You have got to be kidding me! I totally almost sent her to school in jammies but not for the same reasons as all the other moms here.
- You let your freak flag fly for play dates and leave your house messy! I have been to these play dates where the house is perfect and adorable snack trays are provided for all the adults and the kids. While I so appreciate this, and have a blast, it makes me a little imitated. How was I, Hot Mess mom that I am, to wrangle with these play date social niceties? If I want to have frequent playdates (and being the extravert that I am, I really really do!) I can’t find the time or energy to be the hostess with the mostess. So when you bring tiny hurricanes to come play at my house please know the toys will not be picked up before you come because let’s face it, the tiny people will destroy this house within minutes anyways. However, I WILL always have wine. And you can leave with a satisfied smile knowing your house is much more put together than mine. See, I do this for you 😉
- You do not Pinterest. Don’t even try girl. I would post a picture of a Pinterest fail here. But I don’t have one because, like I said… I don’t Pinterest.
- You find random objects and toys in the STRANGEST vicinities in the depths of the abyss called your home. Do you ever find tiny cars in your microwave? Or Little People in your boots? No. Just me? Either it is because my daughter TRULY is a tornado… (very plausible theory here) or maybe it is because I really am a disorganized Hot Mess… or maybe it is the perfect storm of both… Needless to say, nothing in my house is where it is supposed to be. There are toys seeping out of every crevice of every device, drawer, corner, closet, basket, and appliance. So before I turn on the oven I ACTUALLY have to check for unknown devices… because it might be a toy airplane, or it might be my cellphone, oh wait who am I kidding… I don’t bake anyways. Which leads me to my next point…
- Quick Poll: If you break up cookies from a package and put them in the oven, does this qualify as baking? Umm Duh. Of course it does. Second question: Are cookies an appropriate snack for a toddler? Hot Mess Mom ruling? (Drum roll please…) Abso-freaking-lutely! Don’t judge me please.
- Treat Instacart, Ubereats, and Favor not just as luxuries but rather necessities. All I have to say on this one is grocery trips usually end in tears… for all of us. So I am very thankful for these modern day indulgences that can save me a few tantrums (mine) and chaos every once in awhile.
- Your hair looks like you just rolled out of bed. No this isn’t the “I just rolled out of bed” look. This is what it looks like when you ACTUALLY “just roll out of bed.” …And then proceed to go about your day without changing that look one bit! But seriously… Embrace the chaos! Own that incomplete checklist! Take as many shortcuts as you can! Laugh at yourself often! Don’t take motherhood too seriously! Freaking live! (that was super bossy of me by the way). Why?! Because if you allow yourself to be a Hot Mess, you are giving yourself the time, mental space, self-acceptance, and freedom to live in the moment and appreciate the very tiny humans you are doing all this for.
So call us “Type B”… call us busy… call us disorganized.. but will you at least also call us authentic? That’s my own positive reframe anyways 😉 So this year in 2017, I will not vow to be more organized. Instead I am just going to accept that this is who I am, and try to live in the moment rather than worry so much about my imperfect Hot Mess self.