There are so many things that I still want to accomplish in life; owning more real estate, flipping a house, achieving a higher level of education, investing more time in friends and relationships, traveling more and experiencing more (whatever that means), but being the very best husband and daddy that I can be tops them all. In some ways, I could easily feel like I am giving up a lot, but in others, I feel like my girls are my purpose.
Am I really giving up all of these things? No way! All of my life it has been drilled into me, and I truly believe, that I can do absolutely anything. So ultimately, it’s entirely my choice. I am choosing to “give up.”
I choose to spend more time with my wife. It is in no way a sacrifice of these other things. I love being with her. Some may see that as contrary to accomplishing more in this life, but I don’t see it that way. Being next to her makes me whole. Whether it’s on a far too infrequent date, a casual night at home without a single spoken word, or an emotionally heated argument, she’s my buddy and always will be. I choose to “give up” so that I can be with her.
In choosing so, I know that I will need to give up other things; and I’m okay with that. I choose to give up advancement opportunities at work that will require me to spend more time away. I choose to give up time that I could selfishly keep for myself. Who wouldn’t love more guilt-free time at the gym, or never having to compromise what movie to go watch? I choose to open myself up to more disagreements because I know that those times are what complete me and, eventually, lead to the fullness of my life. I choose to give up my time, my space, and my entire self for this woman and I am happy to.
My girls are the same story. Just as I have an infinite amount of room in my heart and my life for my bride, I know no bounds for them. My girls are incredible and nothing in my life would be worth accomplishing without them. For them, I choose to give up a lot. Most notably sleep. One daughter is a night owl and an early bird and, oddly enough, I actually kind of love that about her. Her mind is awesome to me and I can see her thinking and figuring her world out more and more every day.
My other daughter likes to be awake everywhere in between. At this point in her life, she’s one, so she doesn’t know how to communicate with me and I know that her little mind is frustrated. During these times, I am visibly tired and frustrated, but inside, I am reminding myself to hold on to these moments and reminding myself that I am choosing this.
I also choose to give up time. Again, I would love to go to a nice restaurant with my wife, or grab a burger by myself, but instead, I plan every outing around what establishment has a decent playground for my girls to run around and play. Is it really my time though to give up? I don’t think so. I actually feel blessed that they are choosing to spend their time with me! I know that those moments will be gone all too soon, so I’ll gladly put on a tutu and a tiara to go outside in order to play catch with my three-year-old. I’ll proudly celebrate a trip to the potty at a busy restaurant (or bar) because these girls have my heart. I choose to give up everything for them.
So, maybe giving up isn’t a bad thing. I love giving up. Giving up for me means gaining precious time and moments with my girls. Giving up means seeing their life improve and happiness increase. Giving up means that I gain everything that is important in life. I know that those other things are there and that I could achieve them if I wanted, but they’re not going anywhere; and besides, my heart is full.