Have you ever had those days with your kids where you feel like you’ve totally failed at the day?

Please tell me it’s not just me!

I don’t know what I’m doing, but please don’t tell my kids.

There are days when I don’t recognize the kids I call my own. Surely they’ve been switched with someone else’s kid because MY kids would never push another kid or call another kid a nasty name. But they do. They all have their unkind moments. Kids can be jerks sometimes. Plain and simple. Sometimes they embarrass us on an airplane or have that unforgettable first impression at meet the teacher. There are times I look at my kids and wonder why I waste my energy teaching (and reteaching) manners, compassion, and thoughtfulness. There are days where I throw in the towel early, and call the day a loss.

Kids are not born compassionate. They’re actually born extremely self-centered. It doesn’t make them bad kids. And it doesn’t mean we are bad parents either. It means there are LOTS of teachable moments ahead. Sadly, kids don’t come with instructions. Even a seasoned parent learns as they go. They try and fail. There are always curve balls thrown in the game of parenting.

I may have a five-year-old, but I’m very new to the five-year-old troubles. I may have already been through the terrible twos with one child, but I’m in new uncharted waters raising my second and third through those trying times. The teachable moments are not just for the kids. I’m constantly learning, growing, and evolving my parenting style. I’ve caught myself changing up my discipline game plan on the fly, and questioning what my next move will be. And very often, I figure things out as I go.

I’ve come to learn that the teaching moments are actually a heck of a lot more for the parents than the kids. I’ve tried and failed. A LOT. There have been plenty of times that my kids disappoint me or embarrass me. Each time, I have to figure out new strategies that work (and don’t work).

So we can we do?

Give each other grace. Give other parents the benefit of the doubt that we’re all trying our very best, every day with our kids. Remember that kids are not robots that we can program to do exactly what we want when we want it. When I spot a struggling mom struggling to corral toddlers in public, I love to tell her, “Good job, Mama. I’ve been there, too.” We all have, haven’t we? Help others by sharing your success stories. Share the failures too so we don’t feel so alone in our struggles.

There are times I get it terribly wrong, but I promise my kids that trying my very best. Every. Day. Some days I’m just too dang tired to have patience with my kids, but I give them 100% of what I have to give. And that doesn’t mean I’m perfect. It means I’m human.

Sometimes their actions don’t reflect a single lesson I’ve ever preached. They are not perfect either. And that’s ok.