Bullying: A Mother’s Story

{I love my niece, Saylor to absolute pieces! She’s such a beauty, talks your ear off, asks “why?” about everything, and genuinely loves ALL people! Last year when my sister told me about some troubles Saylor was having at school with bullying I was absolutely appalled. How could a 4 year old beautiful and confident little girl be bullied in preschool???!!! Sadly, 1 in 7 students (grades Kindergarten through 12^th grade) are either a bully or are being bullied. To read more bullying statistics check out the link above. With suicide being one of the leading causes of death among children under the age of 14, we have to help fight this war against each other! I love my little Saylor… here is my sister’s story. ~ Allison Mack}

Love is Louder Campaign Against Bullying

As a mother to a 5 year old daughter and 8 year son I strive to give my kids the best. Don’t we all? Earlier this year I put my, then, four year old daughter in preschool at a private school. At this private school there is a dress code. They have to wear school uniforms where all the boys look the same and all the girls look the same with the exception of hairstyles, hair bows and shoes. So how in the world would bullying even come in to play at a place like this, right?

Well, when my daughter came home from school one day about a month after beginning preschool crying telling me her shoes weren’t good enough, I began to see the bullying even at this young age. See, I don’t believe in buying small kids shoes that cost more than $40 because I have found their feet grow at least every six weeks. Therefore, I buy most of my daughter’s shoes at Target. Please take into consideration that the kids in her class are just starting to learn how to read. I find it very difficult to believe anyone in her class can read “Circo“. So when I asked her what she was talking about she started crying about how her hair wasn’t pretty, her skin is too white, her shoes weren’t good enough and she was ugly. I asked her where in the world she heard that and she said “Jane” (named changed).

After my son, who takes karate and doesn’t care much for his sister, threatened to give “Jane” a karate kick to the face, I sat my daughter down and talked to her. I asked her to tell me why it mattered what kind of skin color anyone had? She couldn’t answer. I asked her if she likes her sparkly shoes and she said “yes”. I asked her if she liked her hair and she said “yes”. And lastly, I asked her if she thought she was ugly and she said “no”. Then I asked why she cares what “Jane” thinks anyway. She told me she guesses she really doesn’t and wiped her tears and went off to annoy her brother.  Now that whole conversation seems much easier than conversations I might have had with my eight year old. But every day for the next month she still came home from school upset because “Jane” was being mean to her in one way or another. But after several months of enduring this little girl’s antics, she told me that “Jane” was mean to everyone every single day. She honestly stopped caring what “Jane” thought about her because she was just a mean girl to everyone. When she came to that conclusion on her own after observing her, she was a much happier little girl.

Oddly enough, “Jane” and my daughter are now friends. Is “Jane” still mean to everyone? Yes. Has Saylor learned to hold her head high and be confident regardless of what others say or think? Yes. The moral is to teach your children to be confident and realize that people who like to tear others down are really just the insecure ones that need to be lifted up by people like my daughter.

Saylor’s 2011 School Photo

{I know many of us are moms to infants and toddlers and can’t even begin to fathom dealing with bullying, but they too will be Saylor’s age… how do you plan to address bullying? Do we have any other parents of school aged children that have dealt with bullying?}