It’s obviously a very personal decision deciding how big to make your family. Lisa recently shared her extremely selfish decision to ‘only’ have one child. {grin} But if you do decide to have more children, it is a big decision to decide how far apart to space them.
My sister is 20 months older than I am, and due to our birthdays, we were only 1 grade apart in school. There were certainly times this was awful {teens on their periods together?}, but overall I loved it. My hubby and his brother are 4 years apart. The were only at the same school for 2 years – when my hubby was in Kinder and First grade. That just seemed so odd to me. So I just KNEW I would have my kids close together.
Then, shortly after the birth of Trent, came post-partum anxiety. And returning to work. And learning to be ‘me’ again. And figuring out how to not neglect my husband. Oh and make time for friends. And sleep. You get the picture.
I figured eventually I would get the ‘itch’ to have another baby. And I did. But it took until Trent was about 2.5 before I really started thinking I could handle another baby and go through all those adjustments again. Once we decided we were ready, we got pregnant pretty quickly {as my husband lamented}, so Trent and Drew ended up 3.5 years apart. Should I be able to convince my husband for a 3rd {ppppllllleeeeaaaassseeee, Brent!!!!!}, I would probably have them a smidge closer together but not much. I love how much Trent has understood about Drew joining our family and how independent and helpful he is!
My sister, on the other hand had her kids 25 months apart {between 1 and 2} and 22 months apart {between 2 and 3}. If you ask me {and her}, she’s nuts! To me, each of her older kids was still a baby when the next baby came along which makes it really challenging on her. For example, 2 kids in diapers at a time? Yuck!
When my sister and I have talked about why we have spaced our kids out the way we have, we’ve decided it comes down to whether you want to have all the crazy newborn/diapers/sleep-deprived/nursing/teething phases together and get through them quickly or whether you need more time to recover from those phases to be ready to face them again! You can see which approach I took compared to my sister!
There is definitely not a right or wrong answer…just what is right for your family!
How far apart are your kids and why did you space them that way?
