As moms, we sometimes feel like a broken record (and consequently by just writing that sentence, I now fell like I’ve completely turned in to my own mother). We repeat to our children what they should be doing, what they shouldn’t be doing, consequences for actions, etc. In our home with our four young children, it seems like when it hits around 4pm everyday, I just say forget it…I’m done with the constant barrage of nags. But really and truly, teaching our children societal rules, especially manners, are essential to their upbringing and future functionality not only as an adult, but as a stand up citizen.
So that’s a lot easier said than done, right?….that whole teaching manners thing. Raise your hand if you have a list of family rules or manners hung in your home. I’ve always wondered if these signs truly help remind kids about what is expected and appropriate…It certainly would help me remind myself! (Shout out in the comments if you’ve had good experience with this.) Teaching manners starts at a very early age in order for them to become habit….again, easier said than done. We’d love for this to be an open discussion of ideas, as I certainly could use some extra pointers, so please chime in if you have a proven strategy for instilling good manners in your children. For my family, here are a few things we’ve done so far….and in thinking over these , I realize that some are specific to our region of the country. Southern charm, if you will.
Non-negotiable manners we teach our children:
-Chew with your mouth closed and wait until it’s empty to speak
-Napkin goes in your lap
-Elbows off the table
-Using “yes ma’am, no ma’am” and asking “ma’am?” rather than “what?” or “huh?”
-Looking people in the eye when shaking hands and/or greeting them
-Do not interrupt
-No talking back
-Be gracious when given a compliment, a favor, a gift, or an invitation
-Never call someone an ugly name or make fun of them
-Use please, thank-you, excuse me
There are plenty others that deal with respect, phone manners, personal habits, etc…but even covering the ones mentioned above can be a full time job when your kids are small. We have a Disney book called, “Polite as a Princess” that we’ve read hundreds of times with our kids. It covers the basic manners, but also can be used in a fun way when read in opposites (as if the Princesses are using bad manners.) Our kids get a big kick out of this (especially if their Daddy reads it), and they love being the ones to “correct” the princess on her bad manners.
Another way we teach manners is to both compliment them when showing good manners, while also exaggerating our own. For example, I’d say in a loud, proper voice, “Riley, could you PLEASE pass the bread?” “Oh thank you, Riley…What good manners you have!”
Pretty soon, our youngest will be three, which I believe is old enough to exibit most of the basic manners. By then, I’m hoping he can joing in on the Manner’s Game (Found HERE) during dinner time. Not only is it a fun oppotunity for kids to learn and demonstrate their knowledge of manners, but it also provides motivation for self-correction…which plays a huge role in impulse control with young ones.
As I mentioned, we’d LOVE to hear some unique and original ways you teach manners in your home. I think all moms, no matter where in our motherhood journey we may be, can benefit from sharing ideas and methods to help our children be the best they can be.
