National Infertility Awareness Week

In order to honor those families that are affected by infertility every single day, Austin Moms Blog plans to share several stories throughout this week. What binds us together is motherhood and whether you are a veteran mom, expecting mom, new mom, or just want to be a mom, we all have one common denominator… our love for children and motherhood.

This is Katie’s story.

National Infertility Awareness Week, Katie Eaton

Wow. It’s been so long since I thought about our infertility journey that I honestly don’t know where to start. We have two amazing children that we snuggle with each and every night (and one sweet one in heaven) and I can’t even tell you how lucky we are to have them. Our journey was, thankfully, super quick. And by that I mean — we didn’t have to deal with years and years of trying and wondering why we weren’t getting pregnant and which doctor to see and what we had to do to get pregnant. We only had one option — IVF (In-Vitro-Fertilization for those of you still in the ice age). No — we can’t have an oops baby. No — it won’t ‘just’ happen. No — we really do know (for those people who say ‘you never know’ in their cutesy little voices).

It was 2005 and I had been off the pill for over a year and we weren’t really trying, but we weren’t not trying either. But, I was young and when I went in for my annual appointment, the doctor (who was thankfully, very aggressive) said that given my age and the time I’d been off the pill, we should have been pregnant. So — the blood tests for both me and my husband started (and the cup test) and we were into see a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) within a month. No. Seriously. The minute the doctor told me we should have been pregnant, it became my personal mission TO GET PREGNANT. Does that surprise any of you that know me?

I dived into the world of infertility — I joined online forums and I researched and read as many books as I could. I found the best RE in all the land, Dr. Thomas Vaughn with the Texas Fertility Center. I changed my diet, I started taking prenatal vitamins, had acupuncture several times a week and poof I was pregnant. Just kidding. Not kidding about everything — I did everything except get pregnant.

I will never forget that appointment where Dr. Vaughn told us we could never ever conceive without IVF. I know you want to know why — but good God, just trust me. So, we skipped everything else and went for the big one. For those of you who look at your hubby and get pregnant — this is a HUGE thing. I didn’t have to take Clomid or any drugs that help me ovulate (and at the same time make me completely crazy), we didn’t have to have timed sex and we didn’t have to deal with sperm in a cup for IUI (Intrauterine insemination). What’s the standard — well, at least in 2005 — you couldn’t get in to see an RE without having tried everything I just mentioned. So, really, we were lucky.

And then … the process started — which is long and emotional and physically trying. The first time we tried IVF, we didn’t tell a soul other than our families. I’d read too many stories of good friends saying all the wrong things (with the best intentions) … so, we kept it all to ourselves. It’s probably the reason I’m still in contact with many of my online friends because we shared sooooo much with each other (and we were all going through the same thing at the same time). The second time we tried IVF we only told families, but when that ended in a miscarriage, I simply couldn’t handle the, “you’ll get pregnant again soon,” bull-shiznit. Because, for me to get pregnant it cost upwards of 30K and six weeks of medication and dozens of doctors appointments. I finally broke down to a friend who said those dreaded words after our miscarriage … and then when we started IVF again in 2009 I started a private blog and let only the best of friends in to share our story. It helped soooooo much to have friends support the process without saying all those annoying things (you infertile girls know what I’m talking about). It helped me process everything by writing it all out — and it helped all my super fertile friends understand me and what I was going through so much more.

I logged onto that blog yesterday for the first time in two years — I wanted to find my drug schedule and the pictures from my cycle.

It takes over a month to get your body ready to start taking hormones to grow lots of eggs. And then depending on your age and how you stimulate, that dictates the rest of your cycle. I was a 9 day gal — I stimmed fast and furious … others take weeks. I grew 18 eggs with each IVF cycle (and I took a belly picture to show that I looked 16 weeks pregnant). That’s my belly full of eggs — not full and pretty with a baby.

This was my drug schedule:

  • Birth Control Pill: 21 days
  • Lupron (a shot in the belly): 10 days
  • On the 10th day of Lupron: Follicle Stimulating Hormones (a shot in the upper thigh) meds started, lupron continued in the belly at decreased dose
  • FSH meds x2 (Gonal-F & Repronex): 9 days total, lupron continued at decreased dose
  • 10th day: HCG shot (in the butt)
  • 36 hours after that: ER (embryo retrieval … when they take all the embryos that you’ve been growing out of your body and start to grow them in the lab)
  • 4 days after HCG: Start PIO (progesterone in oil … a horrible shot in the hip)
  • 5 days after HCG: ET (embryo transfer — where they put back in the fertilized eggs)

I know, I know, it’s getting a little too technical — but IVF is a journey of sorts … and it’s really hard to explain to people who have never experienced infertility. It’s such a process — that drug schedule doesn’t even begin to explain how many doctors appointments you have, how much time you have to take off work, how many times your vagina is on show for the world to see. It’s an emotional roller coaster. I cried and screamed and had hot flashes and got dizzy and threw up and gained tons of weight from the hormones. I fought with my husband for no reason. I got angry at friends for no reason (and they didn’t even know why I was so crazy).

The best advice I can give to my infertile friends, is to start a private blog when you realize you aren’t going to get pregnant the old fashioned way and DON’T be embarrassed by it. It’s a place where you can vent and share your story and not tell the same story again and again and again because it’s a painful story to share over and over again (at least when you are in the moment). And then you don’t have all the stupid comments from your fertile friends. 😉 Now? 8 years later? It’s easy to talk about … but I’m not trying to get pregnant and most of my friends are done with babies.

The best advice I can give to your fertile ladies … is to listen and not say one word because even though you have the best intentions you simply say all the wrong things. The best thing you can do is give the best hugs and talk about other things other than your pregnancy and your baby shower, your newborn (and how hard it is), etc. Don’t say things like, “It will happen in God’s time,” or, “Just Relax.” Because when you say those things, your friends are thinking of stabbing you in the eyes. No. Seriously.

Infertility is one of those things that from the outside looking in, you can’t really understand it. And from the inside looking out, you can’t explain it. Just know that for many many many couples are experiencing infertility and would soooo appreciate it if you would stop asking them when they are going to get pregnant … or have another baby.

KatieIn honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, it is our hope to raise awareness and educate our community about the varying types of infertility and the many options available.  We hope that you are empowered by this series, because we really are in this journey of motherhood together. Please continue to support the real moms this week as they share their journeys.  To read more, please click here.

 

1 COMMENT

  1. “You never know” in their cutesy voices… Exactly!! I’ve heard this too many times. 5 miscarriages, 4 years of trying, 3 clomid attempts, and 2 unsuccessful IVF attempts. I don’t need to know how your cousin’s friend’s sister just stopped trying and she was pregnant. Loved your post. Also agree with the blog idea. I started one for friends and close family. So much support!

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