50 Shades of Motherhood

I am a planner, so when my husband and I decided to have children I asked lots of people lots of questions about about motherhood.  I knew there would be some things that I would learn on the job, but I thought I was pretty well prepared. Turns out, there is a whole bunch of stuff no one told me about being a mom. With the help of my amazing mommy network, I came up with this list of 50 things that no one told us about motherhood to share with you.

50 Things No one Told You About Motherhood

50 Things I Didn't Know About Motherhood

1. Trying to conceive can be a long and difficult process. People don’t like to talk about the challenges, which can feel very isolating.

2. Morning sickness is actually anytime of the day sickness.

3. It is possible you could puke every single day you are pregnant and during labor too.

4. Pregnancy brain is a real thing.

5. Women love to share pregnancy/birthing horror stories when talking to pregnant women.

6. Pregnancy is incredible, but it is OK to think it is awful sometimes.

7. Strangers will want to touch your belly.

8. You shouldn’t feel bad for telling people not to touch you.

9. Peeing when you sneeze may continue indefinitely.

10. Contractions don’t stop with delivery. They will continue for several days following the birth of your child.

11. A postpartum body needs recovery time. You can’t do everything right away.

12. Also, there is so much blood, even if you deliver by c-section. And, it can last for weeks.  If you don’t know what to expect, it could be shocking.

13. Hormones are the worst. Yes, they will affect you too. 

14. There are products to shrink your hips back to pre-baby size. Seriously.

15. We are all aware of the sleep deprivation associated with new motherhood. Somehow, you will figure out how to keep yourself and your baby alive.

16. It is completely normal to check to see if your sleeping newborn is still breathing.

17. Breastfeeding is hard work. It doesn’t always work the way we want it to, and that is OK.

18. But, if you swore you would never breastfeed for longer than a year, you will probably breastfeed until your child is at least two.

19. Don’t warm the wipes. Warming wipes sets everyone up for anger-town when you are in a situation where wipes cannot be warmed.

20. You will care way too much about the consistency, amount, and frequency of another person’s bowel movements. I even took pictures for day-to-day comparison.

21. Your neurotic tendencies might be exacerbated with motherhood. I once spent an entire week researching the perfect sunscreen for my infant. I will never get that time back.

22. You will definitely regret giving noisy gifts to other people’s kids. They definitely remember receiving the noisy gifts. 

23. Be sure to keep a calendar because mommy brain is ALSO a real thing.

24. Post-breastfeeding boobs resemble pancakes.

25. You will probably lose your identity. I expected this, but I didn’t understand how that would feel or how difficult it would be to reconcile being me and being  “Mom.”

26. Your friendships will change.

27. Quiet time is the new happy hour. Even those of us who enjoy constant communication and companionship need quiet time. 

28. Going to the dentist alone is like going to heaven. OK, going anywhere and doing anything alone is uh-mazing.

29. But, you will miss your kids like crazy when you are away from them.  

30. Putting a diaper on a toddler can be a physical challenge.

31. Your will experience a mild heart attack when you see your kid laughing uncontrollably as he attempts some dangerous stunt using everyday household items. Son, do you really need to pry the outlet cover off with a fork and then stick the fork in the outlet?    

32. You always wonder if you are making the “right” parenting choices. 

33. Children are NEVER in a hurry when you need them to be, but they are super impatient any time they are waiting on you.

34. If you have more than one child they might not like each other.

35. Viewing the world through the eyes of a child is a wonderful experience. You will remember how exciting it is to just live life.  

36. You can’t expect your children to be like you. They won’t make the same decisions you would make, and you can’t do anything about it.

37. Homework still sucks even though it isn’t yours.

38. You are an idiot. Not really, but your tween/teen thinks so.

39. You will realize you don’t remember anything that you learned in school.

40. Worrying about your teenage driver will take years off of your life.

41. Going through the college application process with your child will make you anxious all over again.

42. Figuring out how to give your teenager space and privacy is incredibly difficult.

43. Just because your child is 18 doesn’t mean he will move out forever.

44. There is nothing that can prepare you for the day that you drop your precious child off at college. 

45. You cannot control your adult child’s behavior. You have to step back and learn to keep your mouth shut.

46. Sometimes, the help we give our children does more harm than good. One of the hardest lessons we must learn as mothers is when to let them fail and make mistakes.

47. Few people will admit to having a favorite child. Deep down, though, you probably have a favorite. But, your favorite may change over time.

48. Watching your children raise your grandchildren is beautiful.

49. Motherhood makes you aware of your own vulnerability.

50. You will turn into your mother. I don’t remember anyone ever telling me this, and, certainly, no one told me how quickly it would happen.

Thanks to all of my mom friends for sharing your experiences! I know there are so many things we didn’t mention. What surprised you most about motherhood?





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3 Responses to 50 Shades of Motherhood

  1. Rebecca Chapman May 30, 2016 at 6:01 am #

    Probably two things surprised me most.
    Firstly, how much I would love them. I know you love your kids and I knew I would love mine but I couldn’t possibly imagine how much my heart would feel like exploding with live every time that I see them.
    I am also surprised at my ability to function through the exhaustion. I’ve never been a good sleeper and ive never coped with feeling tired but I am amazed at my strength, my ability to just just keep on going no matter how exhausted I am or hard how it seems.
    Actually, a third. The laundry. I have been really surprised at how much laundry there is. Even from the first newborn days. So much laundry.

  2. valeria July 14, 2016 at 4:50 pm #

    i was surprise about EVERYBODY wanted to touch my belly… and I didn’t want to… luckily I never had to actually told “do not touch my belly” but they saw it carved in my face hhahaha… it bothered me, i’m sory…
    another MAJOR important thing no one tells you is the anxiety it cames with the baby, I mean, you checked breathing, pooping, feeding, bathing, wlaking, dressing… you checked every single item, and it;s everything ok.. but somehow you are always on a alert mode, like if something really really bad could happen at any moment… that’s really exhausting

  3. Bekah November 2, 2016 at 8:37 am #

    To my surprise yes I’ve been in love and I love my daughters father with all of my heart, but when we had our daughter Rachel Marie I fell into a different kind of love!! A love i had no idea even existed… i piece of my heart was put in place the day she graced us with her presence and this love is AMAZING!! My heart was complete… a piece I had no clue was even missing!!! Yes the struggle is real!!! But it’s a little easier knowing her father and I made this amazing little person!! And the way she looks at us…. well it’s awesome!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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