When I turned the big 3-0 last year, I looked at that birthday as a way of pressing the refresh button. A fresh start. I also took some time to reflect on what I learned about love, life, and especially friendships.

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Have you ever heard of reason and season friendships? In my 20’s, I wanted to fit in. I needed that social circle of friends to feel “popular” and to give me a sense of worth. There are friends that were there for a reason or a season. For those friends, I am forever grateful. They were there to get me through college, help piece back together my broken heart, or go out for a drink on a random Tuesday night. Those friendships will forever be in my heart, but life has taken us in different directions.  We may be in different stages of life, living across country, or simply busy with everything that’s happening in our day to day life.

Then, there are my lifetime friends. The friends that fill my cup and make my heart full.  “The Crew” is what we have called ourselves since high school. All 6 of us have held hands through marriage, divorce, hairstyles, mourning, friendships, and motherhood. Some of us have kids and some of us aren’t sure if we want to have kids. We have drifted apart in the past, but our bond is stronger than ever. Our love for one another is deep. Some of us have been friends since preschool and it is very rare to have six girls with six different personalities stick together through thick and thin. Each one of them has been there to hear me cry on the phone or laugh uncontrollably for hours. In fact, we still talk all hours of the day and night to share what is going on in our busy lives. I would not be the woman, the mom, the wife, or the friend that I am today without these amazing women.

Friendships shift once you become a mom. Nothing prepares you for that. Your calendar suddenly shifts from happy hours and social events to soccer games and doctor appointments.  Although being a mom and a wife is very rewarding, it is consuming. I used to be so good at catch up phone calls, sending that thoughtful email, or yearly birthday card. It takes effort now. Sometimes it is easier to just press play on the DVR instead of picking up the phone to call a friend.  Being a mom has made me realize how important my girlfriends are to me. I depend on them to get me through this roller coaster we call life. I seek their advice, look forward to girl nights, and lean on their support. After all, a girls night out is way cheaper than therapy.

I am praying for my own girls future friendships. As a mom of 2 girls, I pray that they find friends that they can be vulnerable with and talk to about anything: from their emotions to their favorite pair of shoes.

Life is short. Each year goes by faster and faster and doesn’t look to be slowing down anytime soon. I encourage everyone to stop for a minute and send your friends a little text or email and let them know how much you love them.

 

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