I recently found out that I’m having twins. Yes, it was a complete shock, but it worked out perfectly for me. I wanted 3 kids and my husband was dead set on 2. Haha…who’s laughing now? I’m sure I won’t be in 9 months.
After the initial shock, my husband and I started thinking about how this would impact us financially. We calculated daycare to equal almost my entire month’s paycheck, including my toddler son who will be 3 soon. Honestly staying home never crossed my mind, but a lot of people asked if that was what I was going to do. Basically, I’m going to work to pay for my child’s daycare, but here are a few reasons why I made the decision to continue working.
- Finding a marketing job in Austin can be very competitive, and the salary range is crazy. I honestly can’t risk quitting my marketing job, and then hoping that in 5 years I find another job that I truly enjoy and that will pay me a good wage. I quit my job after the birth of my first son, and honestly it was rough getting back in to the industry. I applied to hundreds of jobs and ended up having to take a job that wasn’t in marketing because I needed a job ASAP.
- I like my job, and my career is important to me. I went to school for a long time to pursue my Marketing and MBA degree, so I honestly don’t want to put my career on the backburner. I think of it as an investment in my future. Many women facing this decision would work for the insurance, but I don’t actually use the health insurance at my work. My husband has much better insurance and it’s cheaper, but I do invest in my 401K which I will continue to do.
- I don’t think I would enjoy being a SAHM to 3 children. Do I think I could do it? Yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for me. I love my son so much, and I cherish our time together, but twins + a toddler….hmmm. A part time job where I worked 3 days a week and could be at home with my kids the other 2 days would be ideal, but those jobs are very hard to come by, and part time day care is still freaking expensive.
Some people may think I’m crazy for continuing to work, but it’s a personal choice and right for our family. Have you had to face this though decision for your family?
I applaud you for going back to work – it takes a crazy amount of energy, organization, and brainpower to work full time and be the mommy you want to be! I will say I have a different outlook on the difficulty of returning to the workforce.
I feel extremely fortunate to stay home with our first child, even though I gave up a six figure marketing job (which was also highly stressful and demanding) and have my MBA. I don’t expect to jump into the same salary and career trajectory after my absence from the workforce, but I believe I can get back on track after a few years of “starting over.” Yes, technology and trends evolve, but my past experience and network will still be valid. The job market could totally change and I may end up being wrong, but I believe I’m doing what’s best for my family now in exchange for a temporary career setback. And I choose to believe I can and will return to a successful career path in a few years because my education, 10 years of experience, and skill set will always be relevant.
Again, I applaud you for doing what’s best for you and your family! It’s not the same path for everyone and supporting each other is the best we can do when having these discussions.
My child has been in daycare since my 12 week maternity leave ended and I never missed any of the things you mentioned. I love being a working mom.
I find that the moms that are the most judgmental of other’s choices are the ones that tend to be the most insecure about their own choices. To call another mother selfish because she chooses to work is astounding.
I am so very glad you made a choice you feel is best for your family. That’s wonderful. Your choice however doesn’t affect my life in any way. Your judgment just makes me feel sad for you. If you were truly happy and fulfilled as a SAHM, you could support and uplift moms that make different choices.
Aren’t you a pot calling the kettle black. You don’t seem to support or uplift anyone. Work on yourself and find peace in the decision you made. Lose the bitterness, your children are watching and will remember.
I gave up my 6 figure income when I had my son, now 4. To be brutally honest, I never wanted to have kids, I didn’t think I would be good at it or have the patience. I worked very hard in my career and for my 4 college degrees to get where I was and didn’t want to give it up. But my husband wanted to have kids and I loved him more than the desire to remain childless. So we decided to get pregnant, my son was born and he totally changed my life. I quit my job to be with him and never looked back. The money I gave up could never buy the precious moments we spend together. I feel so lucky that I’m good at what I do. I’m such a better mom that I’ve ever thought I’d be. When he turned two and started preschool 2 days a week, I started my own online IT company and now I have the best of both words. I have great memories of the I spent with my son when he was young, I volunteer at his school and I still have my career. Im living proof that having it all is possible and that life and love will lead you in the right direction.
How can people say, “it’s what’s best for my family” NO it’s what’s best for you. Children need their parents and if you have the means to be with them while they are young then you should because YOU are their mother. If you don’t want to deal with your own children then you shouldn’t of had them. We live in such a selfish generation. Parenting should not be optional. Of course most moms have to work to provide for their family but this is not the case here. Parenting is a sacrafice. How will your adult children feel? Their mother chose to be away from them because the thought of dealing with them all day seemed hard and she liked her job? Get your head out of your butts people.
You act like if you work you’re not parenting. Please. would you say that to your partner?Working moms still parent their kids, they just have more help with it. its not like the kids are shipped off to boarding school never to be seen again. I most definitely “deal” with my children. And before you continue feeling so smug with your adult children comment, all of the studies suggest it makes no difference in how adults turn out whether the mom stayed home or not.
Wow! I’m pretty sure everything you just said is the VERY reason our society is so selfish. Kids grow up knowing that their parents’ lives revolve around them, then cannot understand why the world doesn’t. THAT is the problem, not mothers who are working to be sure that they have the means to help and support their kids as they grow. I am sure that many many mothers choose to go back to work, knowing that, even though most of that income will be spent for childcare in the first few years, they know they won’t have to struggle to find a good paying job when the kids do go off to kindergarten. With that job that they so “selfishly” kept, they will be able to save for school clothes, family vacations, college tuition, weddings, all also important things we as parents want to provide for our kids. Who would be our nurses, our kids’ teachers, our retail clerks, our bank tellers, our pharmacists, our pediatricians, our marketing gurus, etc, if we all stayed home instead of continuing our careers? I work with elementary school kids and I can tell you, in more instances than not, kids who have been away from home, in daycare settings, or even just down the street at aunt susie’s house, with other kids and NOT mommy, are far better adjusted in school around other human beings. Not always, but many many times that is the case. I choose to work, I love my job, AND I love my kids!! The same as stay at home moms! My head is where it should be, thank you.
It is right that one’s career will be essentially gone in 6 years. So will the childhoods of one’s children. It is what it is. Which one will you be able to live with giving away? That answer will be different for everyone.
I work and never gave away my kids childhood. We have been completely enjoying it, thanks for your concern.
It would affect your relationship (negatively) with your employer and coworkers if they needed a full time employee and you only showed up part-time. Your dedication and allegiance to them would affect their dedication and allegiance to you.