Dear Infertility…You Suck


Dear Friend,

Everyone makes it look so easy. The adorable pregnancy announcements, the giddy gender reveals, and the sweet smiling faces in the hospital just after giving birth. However real and frustrating it may seem to you, you never know if it all might be just a facade of the pain it took to get to that point.

The truth is infertility is a secret club that no one wants to be a part of but far too many of us are. It sucks. We stay quiet, we smile at others’ happiness, but deep down we know what it was like to once be in your shoes.

The temping, the ovulation strips, the useless boxes and boxes of pregnancy tests wasted.

The researching Dong Qai, Vitex, and Maca Root and wondering what on earth they actually do?

Knowing far too much about your female anatomy and times of the month than you ever cared to know.

Reading far too many infertility blogs than you care to admit, and be oh-so-jealous when they finally get a positive pregnancy test.

The question of “When are y’all going to have a baby?” And grit your teeth saying, “Someday…” As you hold back tears wondering if that’s true.

The numbers of months or years you’ve been through this, and the disappointment that rears its ugly head every month.

And another secret — it never gets easier. As your life goes on after you have your perfect beautiful child (however you may get to that point), there will still always be jealously of those that can just sneeze and get pregnant. The memories of what you went through won’t be at the forefront of your daily lives anymore, but they still will be etched in your heart.

But you know what — now that you have membership to our secret club that you never wanted to be a part of, you can help the next member. Lend a shoulder to cry on, go for a walk, have some wine, and just be there to discuss for another friend what you went through. Because all you are looking for and all they are looking for is hope.

With love,
Your Former Infertile Friend

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