Don’t Touch The Bump

If you’ve ever had someone touch your baby bump without asking, raise your hand. Bet you raised it, or at least nodded and thought “heck yes!” Baby bumps are one of the most personal things you have during pregnancy, and for some reason, people seem to think that they can just rub and touch all over that dang thing. What’s wrong with people?! I had numerous run-ins with these types of people, but the one I will always remember was the random old lady in Costco who came right up to me, put both of her hands on my belly and then proceeded to tell me all about my baby and pregnancy. It was shocking, to say the least. I guess the reason it was so memorable was because she was right about a lot of things, which made the whole experience even more weird.

If YOU are a bump toucher, then please, take my advice…DON’T DO IT! Just stop, retract that hand and think twice! {Take that, Dr. Seuss} Okay, but really, here are the ONLY reasons you should EVER touch a baby bump:

  • Say you are the other partner involved in bringing this baby into this life, then fine, as long as you are on good terms with the bump bearer, go ahead. If not, don’t touch it.
  • You are a child that has no idea what personal space means and want to feel the baby. I mean, who’s gonna say NO to that? I am going to go with 5 years and under on this one, folks.
  • Maybe you are the baby momma’s doctor/caregiver and you need to check the bump, go ahead. Don’t get confused with this one though. If you are a doctor but have nothing to do with the care of the bump bearer, then NO! You don’t get to touch!
  • And last, but not least…if you have been kindly invited to touch the bump by the bearer of said bump, then go right ahead.

The bump belongs to someone. This someone is allowed personal space and most likely doesn’t want you, whether you are crazy or not, touching their body. Yes, remember when you are touching a baby bump, it isn’t a baby, it’s a woman’s body that is being stretched and crammed beyond what ever seemed possible. It’s not the most comfortable thing in the world. And really, the last thing a lady wants when she has all that going on is some person rubbing all over it. It’s a simple message, folks.

Baby bump touches are a privilege that you don’t just get to take. So please be polite and keep your hands to yourself.

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