Gather ’round, guys.  I’m going to cue you in on a little secret. Those pictures your friends are posting on Facebook and Instagram (and other social media outlets that I’m not cool enough to understand)?  You know…the pictures that are making you jealous/hate your life/make you think something must be wrong with you/your marriage/your house/your family? Guess what? You’re never gonna believe it….that picture isn’t real life. In fact, that picture you are looking at…the one causing you such distress and general dissatisfaction?

That picture:

• has a filter applied to it (you really thought your friends looked THAT good?)
• was retaken 35 times, before a Facebook-acceptable one was produced  (you actually believed your friend’s family was that cute and that happy, naturally? )
• was totally staged, to MAKE you think exactly what you just thought ( “Wow. How does she manage to keep her house that clean all the time?” Uh… I’ll tell you how. Your friend just swept a s**tload of junk off her kitchen table, seconds before the picture was taken, so that her horrible housekeeping skills could remain a secret from the interwebs! Duh!)
• does not give you a peek into the hours prior to the picture, or the hours after the picture (just because your friend got the perfect shot of her kids frolicking in the surf, with a gorgeous sunset in the background, does NOT mean everyone wasn’t crying five seconds ago, and throwing sand into each others eyes, while dad observed grumpily from the sidelines, and wondered out loud, “WHY do we even DO family vacations when our kids are this young?).

Take for example, the following:

You see this picture and think: Aww. So fun. Our family should be more festive, and do things like take a trip together to a pumpkin patch.  Why don’t we do that??

The reality: It was hot as hell, and my husband was super pissed that we had ever chosen to go to a pumpkin patch in 90 degree weather in the first place, and doubly pissed that we were now taking a hot and uncomfortable picture to document it.

You see this picture and think: I wish MY husband would do something romantic like prepare a candlelight dinner for me on Valentine’s Day! Actually, I just wish he’d do ANYTHING romantic.

The reality: my husband is completely unromantic, and I’m not sure he had ever planned a candlelight dinner for me prior to that night, or ever again since that night. Also, our 5 month old woke up and ended up being our third wheel for the remainder of the dinner.

You see this and think: Gorgeous! I wish I was there. I wish WE could go on a getaway. Looks like they’re livin’ the dream.

The reality: We were. Sorry. That actually WAS the reality.

You see this and think: Girls night!?!  Why wasn’t I invited??

The reality: I probably wasn’t invited to something last week that you were invited to, and one of the other girls in the picture probably won’t be invited to something next week that you and I are invited to.  You are liked, and you have friends.

You see this picture and think: Ice skating in Central Park? How romantic. My husband would never want to do that.

The reality: I already TOLD you, my husband isn’t romantic! Also, he hates ice skating…with a passion….and although he did circle me around a few times, “a few times” was all he could handle, and I spent the rest of the time being a third wheel to the other couple we were vacationing with.

You see this picture and think: Pretty day. Cute boy. Poolside. Not a care in the world.

The reality? Five days…FIVE DAYS…prior to that, I had spent the weekend in the hospital, with massive hemorraghing, an unfortunate side effect from my c-section the month before. On THIS particular day, I was terrified to even move too much, out of fear that I may start gushing blood again.  TMI? Sorry! Just keepin’ it real!

Every single person in this picture is pissed at me. Every single one.

“What a cute picture!”, you say. “Crab hunting on the beach? Why, that is just the epitome of summer-time, family fun!” Well it sure is. But how about the family DRAMA that unfolded just thirty minutes prior to that, resulting in at least five different members of the family (I’m talking grandparents and all) to be annoyed at each other? Irritated at everyone, including one another, my husband and I trailed along behind our son on the beach, pissed-off moods in tow, faking expressions of sheer delight ONLY when our boy would turn around to show us a crab.

Here are some pictures that are perhaps a bit more indicative of real life:

But honestly, even these are kind of cutesy.

The reality is no one is posting pictures of the fight they just had with their spouse, the depression they are struggling with, or the anxiety they are experiencing due to their current financial situation, but that doesn’t mean your friends aren’t experiencing those things…EVEN in the midst of their sunsets,  Pinterest-y kitchens, and coordinated outfits.

Social media is fine. It accomplishes what it accomplishes. It’s a place to stay connected with people you otherwise may not, and it’s a fun way to store pictures and memories. Just leave it at that, though.  Don’t allow it to breed discontentment in your life, as you strive to obtain an UNattainable lifestyle…one that you THINK all of your friends are living. They’re not. They just got ONE good picture, in the midst of their probably otherwise chaotic life.

And by golly…they’re gonna share it with you!