We Need You, Older Moms

A while ago, I wrote an article titled “This Stage of Life? It’s Hard.” I wrote it because, well, it is. It received a lot of feedback… some bad, some good, some just plain weird. My favorite comments though were from the older “been there, done that” moms. The moms who remembered the stage of life described in the article. Remembered that it was hard, and didn’t try to downplay that, but who now, years removed from it all, could offer some humor, perspective, wisdom, and encouragement.

The following comment, from a mom of grown children, was one of my personal favorites:

Then, we ran into an older friend of ours at church. This man’s children are all teenagers, and you can tell just by being around him that he absolutely adores his family, and sincerely enjoys the company of his kids. He’s such a good guy…he would probably NEVER come back from a kid-less vacation, look wide-eyed and crazily at them and think, “get me the hell outta here.”

And yet…after hearing about our vacation he said, “Man. I remember when my kids were your kids’ ages. Coming back home to them after being gone on vacation was always the hardest thing ever. You just kind of wished you could escape reality and go back where you came from. In fact, that stage actually was just kind of horrible in general. But man, it sure does get better. My kids are my favorite people in the world to be with now.” I wanted to cry tears of relief and hug him…he made us feel NORMAL, and that was a huge gift in that moment.

My point with both of these stories is that if you are an older mom…or an older parent…you have REALLY VALUABLE THINGS to offer younger moms…or parents. You can be 27 years old with a two year old and be an “older mom” to the 24 year old with a newborn you were just introduced to. You can be 35 with three elementary-aged kids and be an “older mom” to the twenty- something with a toddler. And you moms in your 50s and 60s…gosh, you guys have something for ALL of us.

I’m not suggesting you walk around and spew out unsolicited advice to any and everyone. I’m just saying….if you’ve been a mom for any amount of time, you have done SOME things right, and SOME things wrong. Why not share your experiences..good AND bad…with those of us less experienced?

What are the things, looking back, that you are so proud of? So glad you did? The things that you would do again in a heartbeat? What was something that was so difficult for you to do at the time, but in hindsight, you can see that it paid off? Did you discover any amazing tips/trips/life hacks along the way? Share it all!

Possibly more difficult for you, but equally valuable…where did you go really, really wrong? Do you wish you had done something differently? What do you regret? Anything to warn against? What failed? If given the chance, what would you do over again? There’s no shame here. Perfect moms don’t exist, so we all know you messed some things up, just like YOUR mom probably messed some things up, similar to how WE are going to mess some things up.  Don’t be prideful about it. There’s no shame, I tell you. But what better way to redeem your “wrong,” than to try to help other moms avoid the same mistake?

Don’t waste your experiences, good or bad. They are both so valuable, and we are hungry…starving, really…for whatever tidbits you can offer us.

So…Older Moms…where y’at?

We need you!