what-if-youre-doing-just-fineI ran into my friend Nikki at church the other day.

Nikki homeschooled her daughter for kindergarten, and then decided to enroll her in public school for first grade this year.

She was telling me that though she enjoyed and cherished the year she had spent at home being her daughter’s teacher, one thing that had slightly tainted the joy of the year, was her constant self-doubt (“Am I doing this right? Is she where she needs to be? Is she behind or ahead of other students her age? Would she be learning more in regular school?” etc etc).

The first week of school at her daughter’s new elementary, Nikki met with the teacher, and found out that her daughter is EXACTLY where she needs to be. She is reading and writing and adding and subtracting with the best of them. Turns out, Nikki had done JUST FINE.

She said something that struck me though. She said, “I wish I had KNOWN that all last year when I was homeschooling. I would probably have enjoyed it more, if I hadn’t spent so much time doubting myself.”

Anyone else see a similarity to this story and probably ALL of our DAILY LIFE as mothers??

I sure do.

I spend a lot of time thinking of all the things I need to start doing differently. If only I had better systems in place, better rules, a better environment. Maybe things are too rigid around here. Maybe they are too loose. I probably need to stop doing this, and start doing that. I bet other moms have a much better way of operating. I bet I am spending too much time on “X” and too little time on “Y”.  My kids are not where they need to be, but if I got ALL OF THAT sorted out, THEN I bet they would be.

But what if I’m already doing JUST FINE and…I DON’T EVEN KNOW IT? I mean, I actually might be. Huh. Interesting.

You might already be doing JUST FINE too, and ALSO not know it.

For example,

  • What if the reason your kid got sent home with a note from the teacher for bad behavior is NOT because you are doing a poor job at home of teaching him the proper way to behave, but because he is A SIX-YEAR-OLD BOY?
  • What if the reason you lose your temper or have less patience than you would like on any given day is NOT because you are a monster with an anger management problem, but because CHILDREN EXCEL AT BEING PAINS IN THE BUTT SOMETIMES??
  • What if the reason your house looks like a tornado whirled through it is NOT because something is wrong with you, and you just can’t get your s**t together, but because A TORNADO ACTUALLY DID WHIRL THROUGH IT??
  • What if the reason your three year old isn’t potty trained yet is NOT because you haven’t read the right book, or learned the right method, but because HE JUST ISN’T READY YET??

I mean, I could seriously go on and on. I have at least 15 more examples in my head, but I will stop.

My point is, take a deep breath, and pat yourself on the back. You may not need to implement/change/fix/get better at/read a book on/take a class on ANYTHING. You may be…in fact, you probably are…already doing JUST FINE!

 

 

Hayley Hengst
Hello AM readers! I'm Hayley. Stay-at-home mom to three boys/angels/tyrants (primarily tyrants). Most days, I am very content in that role. Other days, well, you know how it goes. I absolutely love writing for Austin Moms Blog. I also love: books, bubble baths, Mexican food, porch swings, and traveling. I hate: the hustle and bustle of trying to get out the door, on time, with all three of my kids. Seriously, I just kind of give up. You can read more about my crazy crew at www.motherfreaking.com!

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