I’m sure you are trying to raise a respectable child — not one that would hurt anyone. I’m sure this was just one incident. I’m sure your kid doesn’t tease other kids, make fun of their differences, bite at home, hit at home, spit in people’s food at home, choke someone until they lose their breath at home all of the time. I’m sure they just got carried away. I’m sure you have no idea how this happened. I’m sure you may believe some or all of these. I’m sure you do.
I really don’t know as I am still in shock that this is happening starting in Kindergarten! KINDER! I honestly don’t remember Kinder other than the stories my mom tells me which I, in turn, made into a memory that may or may not be accurate.
Your child did something wrong, yes. Your child acted inappropriately, yes. Your child embarrassed you, yes. No one is perfect. We live, we learn, we move on. Kids will be kids. All of these may be true, none of these are excuses. NONE. We need to do better.
My kids are not perfect. They are the cutest, sweetest, most lovable (in my eyes) but not perfect. Yet, I know that I can’t expect anyone to teach them better. This starts at home. This starts with me. Neither you nor I can expect schools to do this for us. This is OUR job from the get go. Teachers are there to…wait for it…TEACH! Behavior is on US.
From my own personal experience and parents I’ve talked to thus far, it is not my child that schools worry about, it’s what’s going on at home for the child with the aggressive behavior. Teachers, counselors and even our pediatrician have questioned what prompted the other kids’ behavior to make them act out against our children in such a violent way.
We need to pay better attention. I really would love to blame the media as I avoid showing my kids how bad the world is. I mean, maybe the shows they watch are too violent and they don’t know any better. Or maybe the older siblings are too rough without noticing. Maybe they are just learning self control. But, in the back of my mind, I can’t help but think that maybe there are problems at home of those kids acting out. Maybe they are recreating what they see. Maybe their childhood is being taken away from them with the violence of the world.
All of the incidents that prompted this post are things that have happened to either my kids or my friends kids. None of us are sure of how to deal with them. None of us ever WANTED to deal with them…especially at such a young age. How do you explain to your kid that just wants to play to stay away from the kid that hurt him the day before because you are not sure where the kid’s head is at.
Even if I don’t know and I am still learning what to do, I have to say this to everyone: LOVE!
Prove that LOVE is the answer.
In this uncertain world, all we can do is let our little ones see what love can really do. Lead by example. It may sound cliche and may come off as weak to those teaching kids to fight it out, but in my heart I know that fighting is not the answer.