The Resolution that Works

resolution

I’ve never been able to stick to New Year’s resolutions – it always seems like the minute I make the resolution, my window of opportunity to – eat the ice cream, not work out, curse – is closing. It never feels like I’m making my life better, it always feels like I’m about to put restrictions on my life.

Workout more…

Drink less…

Call relatives more…

Spend less….

Relax more…

Worry less…

But one day I realized that all my New Year’s resolutions had one root – “be better to myself.”

I realized that could go days, even years, addressing the symptoms, but they’d keep popping up – like playing a game of whack-a-mole. If I ever wanted real, lasting change – I’d have to address to underlying issue.

The ONE and ONLY resolution that ever worked for me was:

Act like I am worthy, act like I deserve good, honor myself. Only take actions and make decisions that honor who I am.

I interpreted honor to mean – saying “no” to things that don’t feel right and saying “heck yes!” to things that I love to do. Saying “no” to being in relationships with people who I’m not so sure about and saying “heck yes!” to things that make me laugh. Saying “no” to anything that holds me down and saying “yes” to joy and growth and adventure.

Honor is a high bar, but when I kept honor at the forefront of my decision making:

I ate better – and exercised more – because if I’m honest, eating 1 slice of cake is amazing – eating 6 makes me feel like poop. Going to a dance class with my girlfriends is fun and a mood booster – and no exercise makes me cranky. Getting on scale makes me feel like crap – so I don’t do it anymore!

So instead of resolving NO CAKE – ALL GYM – SKINNIER JEANS. I just shifted my perspective and adjusted to what made me feel good.

When I kept honor at the forefront of my decision making:

I spent less money – and saved more money – because if I’m honest, shopping for decorations does not make me happy. The thought of organizing and cleaning and storing decorations gives me anxiety. I know – all moms should love to decorate – but I don’t! I love to look at decorations – but don’t love all that comes with decorating.

So instead of saying – NO SPENDING ON FRIVOLOUS THINGS – I just focused on what brought me joy and allowed myself to not feel pressure to keep up with my friends or neighbors.

I even fully emptied out our storage unit and most of our garage this year. I GAVE IT AWAY and I felt free.

When I kept honor at the forefront of my decision making:

I began to have better relationships. I could no longer justify being in dramatic relationships – (maybe I was the dramatic one – and maybe the other person was) either way – I didn’t have space for it anymore. Drama doesn’t honor me or anyone else for that matter.

So instead of saying – ONLY DATE GOOD GUYS (this realization happened before I met my husband), or, ONLY BE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE GOOD MORALS – I said that I’d honor myself and others – and I didn’t engage in relationships that didn’t meet that criteria. I started to give more time to the people I really loved and I started to enjoy life more – daily!

The list went on and on for me and the result was more joy, confidence, less anxiety, deeper relationships with people I love and better sleep at night.

HONOR – took me further than a diet, or committing to the gym, or committing to drinking less ever could.

I believe that when we realize that we each deserve goodness and honor and that we are worthy- so many crappy things will fall by the wayside — because we KNOW that we know that we know – we are worth more.

Wishing you a 2017 filled with joy, love and good night’s sleep! 

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23 Responses to The Resolution that Works

  1. Angela | MOMtessoriLife.com January 4, 2017 at 12:35 pm #

    Beautiful! That is definitely a resolution I can get behind! 🙂

    • Catia Holm
      Catia Holm January 9, 2017 at 5:42 pm #

      Thanks, Angela! How are your resolutions going so far? -c

  2. Kate January 4, 2017 at 1:38 pm #

    I absolutely love this post and this resolution. I am right there with you, on not being able to make resolutions last. When I put a lot of pressure on myself or try to live by rigid guidelines, I fail quickly. This is such a positive, productive way of looking at yourself and the world.

  3. Catia Holm
    Catia Holm January 4, 2017 at 4:49 pm #

    Thanks, Kate!!!! Resolutions are tough – but if we’re easy on ourselves and take our time – and let joy guide us – we’re more likely to succeed!

  4. Sane Mama January 4, 2017 at 8:52 pm #

    It very much sounds like the goal is to be true to yourself. That is very similar to what works for me as well 🙂 And I hate decorating and cleaning and organizing.

    • Catia Holm
      Catia Holm January 9, 2017 at 5:42 pm #

      You do?! Kindred spirits, girl. 😉

  5. Corey | The Nostalgia Diaries January 4, 2017 at 9:52 pm #

    Wow. I love this. I’ve always struggled with being good to myself, and this makes me want to be gentler and kinder to myself. What an awesome resolution. Thank you for this!

    • Catia Holm
      Catia Holm January 9, 2017 at 5:43 pm #

      Absolutely, Corey. Be so good to you! You deserve it. Once you’re really good to you – all sorts of things will fall by the wayside. 🙂

  6. Melissa January 5, 2017 at 8:18 am #

    I love this! What a great way to look at life. I’m not big into resolutions, but I do set new goals and intentions for the year.

  7. Sarah January 5, 2017 at 8:24 am #

    Thank you so much for this blog! I was just commenting to a girlfriend this morning that this whole “resolutions” thing stresses me out, and I often feel like a failure within the first 2 days of the new year. While I “know” changing perspective is helpful, it was even more helpful to be smacked in the face with it this morning. So, thank you for the amazing reminder and for the encouragement.

    • Catia Holm
      Catia Holm January 9, 2017 at 6:01 pm #

      Sarah, Please don’t feel like a failure! oh my gosh. You’ve got enough hard things in life (we all do, right?) Be good to you, girl!

  8. Belle January 5, 2017 at 8:44 am #

    Beautiful post! Now that is a resolution I can absolutely do!

    Belle | One Awesome Momma

    • Catia Holm
      Catia Holm January 9, 2017 at 6:02 pm #

      Thanks, Belle!! Best of luck this year !

  9. Becky January 5, 2017 at 9:49 am #

    Smart thinking, getting to the root of all your previous failed resolutions and addressing the core idea you were after. When you have a greater self awareness, (as it seems you do) making a resolution you can stick to is much easier. I wish you great success this year!

    • Catia Holm
      Catia Holm January 9, 2017 at 6:02 pm #

      I wish you great success as well, Becky!!! Self-awareness is a double edged sword, huh? 😉

  10. amy January 5, 2017 at 1:51 pm #

    Good advice! Life is not a quick fix like a resolution and you demonstrated that well. Thanks!

    • Catia Holm
      Catia Holm January 9, 2017 at 6:03 pm #

      Amy, so true! Nothing quick about it. Do you have goals or resolutions that have worked for you?

  11. Marla | Because I Said So Baby January 5, 2017 at 2:19 pm #

    I needed this! Such a good read for the new year. It kind of reminds me of setting standards, not expectations, which is concept I try to apply in my life.

    • Catia Holm
      Catia Holm January 9, 2017 at 6:04 pm #

      Hey Marla,

      I like – set standards!! I’m totally quoting you. 😉

  12. Sharon Chen January 6, 2017 at 5:21 am #

    Nice idea! By getting to the core of your other resolutions, everything will follow 🙂

  13. Tina @AMindfulFairytale January 6, 2017 at 8:32 am #

    This is perfect! If everyone got behind this kind of resolution,the world would be filled with much happier and more loving people! Great post! Happy 2017!

    • Catia Holm
      Catia Holm January 9, 2017 at 6:05 pm #

      Hey Tina! Being good to us – is a lot easier to stick by!! 😉

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