People see you sporting a baby bump, and everyone is suddenly an expert with zero filter. Advice and strange comments come out of the woodwork, and oddly enough, from complete strangers. People suddenly think it’s appropriate to give unsolicited advice as if you’ve got an “I’m clueless, please help me” sign on your back. Suddenly every check out lady at Target and grandma at the deli counter is ready to dispense advice, and ask personal questions. Some get down right awkward.
Here are my top most awkward topics people say to pregnant women….
You have really filled out.
Can we just not? I don’t comment on the weight you’ve gained while you’re NOT pregnant. Can we just agree not to comment on each other’s weight? Pregnant or not, please? I believe the goal during pregnancy is to put on weight to support your growing child. BUT, did you really just tell me I’ve filled out while gesturing to my neck and chin region? How do you even respond to that?? “Umm, thank you, I love having a double chin and bloated cheeks to go along with my huge belly and large thighs.” And, please don’t bother following your comment with, “but, you look GREAT.” Yeah, right. I totally believe you.
Was this planned?
Maybe, maybe not. But, is it really your business either way? A close second to this question is: “why did you have them so close together? Was that on purpose?” Y’all, kids are hard. Newborns are especially hard. It doesn’t matter if you have one or five. You’re busy and sleep deprived, in those first few months. My only brother and I are ten years apart. Does that mean spreading them out that far wasn’t hard on my parents? I doubt it. Sure, they didn’t have two babies in diapers or two toddlers running around at the same time, but they did have two kids in completely different stages of life. That seems like it can be “hard” too.
Did you want him to be a girl?
Or my least favorite, “I was lucky. I got a girl on my last try.” This actually makes me cringe when I get this. And while pregnant with my third boy, I got this A LOT! Our road to growing our family was not always butterflies and roses. We had a rocky path between our first and second babies. There was even a time when I wondered if one was all we’d have. So to me, I’m just thankful that we have healthy babies on the other side of that rocky path. I truly did not care about the gender, but the main reason this makes me cringe is that it’s usually said while my kids are in ear shot. I never in a million years want them to feel like they weren’t wanted because they are boys. Each of my boys was hand-picked for our family.
Get your sleep now.
You can bottle sleep and save it for later??!! WHAT??!! Please teach me how! I’m five years into this parenting thing, and I still haven’t figured out how this makes sense. I slept until noon and took naps almost daily during my college days, but that didn’t help me one bit once I was nursing a baby every two hours. I don’t care if you sleep for a week straight before your first baby is born, those first few weeks are rough, my friends! Being tired is a given when you have a newborn. There’s no escaping it. No amount of sleep while you’re pregnant will change the exhaustion a new mama will feel after giving birth. It doesn’t matter how seasoned you are in motherhood.
Call me hormonal, but can we all just agree that all babies are blessings, and leave it at that? That’s all you need to say. “Wow, congratulations!” or “I’m so happy for you,” would do. Leave the loaded (and personal) questions and comments out, please.