The List of Stuff My Toddler’s Destroyed

toddler destroys

When my husband Jon and I started seriously talking about having a child, the top of his “con” list was that the tiny human would “mess-up all my stuff.” Pre-dad Jon had everything in its special place, saved every special memento and took pristine care of his things. As parents to a now two-year-old, the top of his “con” list is a reality. 

Here’s a {non-exhaustive} list of physical things my toddler destroys:


All. of. it. Whatever is in that elusive make-up bag at the edge of the bathroom counter is like magic to a toddler. Mascara? Lipstick? Something in a tube they can open and smear all over the place when you turn your back for one second? 

Addy Hager loves mascara!

Coffee table:

When I was pregnant, we put a lot of thought into our coffee table being baby-proof. Was it the right height? We’re the edges too pointy? Would he bump his head on the corners? Well, that certainly didn’t matter for long. Between food, markers, massive downpours of “wawa” on the wood, it’s certainly seen better days. 


Finger prints, marker steaks, lipstick doodles, dents from that bat/stick/bubble wand….our perfectly painted beige walls never stood a chance! Let’s just say those Magic Erasers are our best friend these days.


Beyond the obvious dirt, mud, etc. that kiddos drag in the house, we’ve found blue Silly Puddy, smashed snacks, you name it. Who knew Silly Puddy could harden like cement so quickly? 


We’ve permanently opted for the cheap shades in our house (monogrammed wedding shades are our personal favorite). A vital decision after countless snapped, smudged pairs! 

Breakfast in sunglasses for Parker.

What else would you add to the list? 

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One Response to The List of Stuff My Toddler’s Destroyed

  1. Charlotte Howard July 13, 2017 at 10:26 pm #

    Love the humor behind this! Toddlers can be extremely destructive, but its definitely out of love haha it is all worth it and they are all replaceable things you will be extremely grateful and wish you still had those tiny finger prints on those walls some day.

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