My boys are 10, 7 and 6. They are all in school full time. Yet, I have made the decision to become a stay-at-home mom. I know, it seems a little backwards. Most moms decide to stay home with their babies/kids and then go back to work once their kids are in school, but I have decided to do it backwards! I was a stay-at-home mom years ago when all 3 of mine were not in school. I was getting my masters at the time and they were newborn age, 1.5 and 4. Let me just say, those 2 years were rough! I was climbing the walls and could not wait to get back to teaching.
However, now that my boys are older and very involved in sports, our days are insane. Once I get home from work about 5:00pm, I try and go to gym (ha!), then it is off to baseball, soccer , karate or wrestling. We don’t get home until 8ish most nights, then we have to eat dinner, bathe and get ready for bed. My days are like Groundhog Day…the same thing over and over. I am exhausted. Daily. The weekends are when I try and get my house cleaning done, along with laundry, but our weekends are full of games and tournaments. It’s just absolutely insanity, but I wouldn’t change that because my boys enjoy all of their activities.
About 2 months ago my anxiety was at its highest and I just couldn’t control it. I felt like a horrible mom and a horrible wife. With my husband’s schedule as a police officer, most days we were two ships passing in the night. The only interaction I had with my kids was taking them to practice and rushing them into bed. Our family needed a change, but I just wasn’t sure what it was.
The idea of quitting my teaching job that I love popped in, but I immediately pushed that thought out of my mind. I loved my job and really didn’t want to leave my position, colleagues or students. I kept that thought to myself until one day my husband had enough of my breakdowns! He suggested I quit work, and I cried harder. I knew he was right. I knew that my household was not functioning the way that I wanted it to because I was putting so much time and effort into other people’s kids. So, I ugly cried in my principal’s office when I broke the news and he then asked me what I was going to do since my kids are in school.
What AM I going to do? Well, I will be able to go on field trips with the boys that I have never been able to do even though they beg me to every year. I’ll be able to attend the programs that their school puts on in the middle of the day. I will be able to go the Mommy and Me breakfast that I have missed for years. I am going to enjoy picking them up from school and doing homework with them. I want to enjoy my life and I haven’t felt like I have for awhile. My husband and I will be able to spend more time together too!
I am looking forward to this new normal for my family. My boys are extremely excited that I am will be so readily available to them and I am looking forward to really focusing on my family and myself. I am sure I will be able to find a lot of things to do staying home with school age kids!