sober mom

Chrissy Teigen is outspoken about a lot of things. Lately she’s been in a flurry of headlines for her comments about her over-drinking. 

I’ve been on a similar journey, although I didn’t realize it on a trip to Bali. The story is the same. Where Chrissy associated wine with sitting in the hair and make-up chair, attending award shows and after parties in Hollywood, my associations were simpler, but associations none the less. Mine were a mom’s night out, a trip, bathtime or a Monday night with something to celebrate, whine about or a new episode of the Real Housewives of somewhere.  

Around the Fourth of July, I became more aware of how frequently I was drinking. I started counting the number of single days in 2017 that I hadn’t had a drink. Those days fit on one hand. I couldn’t remember an extended amount of time that I had gone alcohol-free (other than pregnancy) since before college.

That adds up to over 10 years of booze-filled fun. And it was fun. And I’m the fun one. And I’ve accomplished a lot in that time, so it’s not a problem. It’s normal…it’s not like I’ve hit rock bottom and got a DUI or something. I can’t quit drinking. People will stop inviting me to happy hours and brunches and birthday parties and heck, baby showers. And I’m in wine clubs and stuff. 

So I kept going the way I had been. Still knowing in the back of my mind that my relationship with alcohol wasn’t doing me any favors. Wasn’t allowing me to be all I needed (and wanted) to be. Alcohol was allowing me to avoid dealing with whatever I didn’t want to deal with.

Then August began. Something was different. I researched, discovered communities of women who were feeling or had felt the same way, who were having or had the same thoughts. I listened to podcasts and read blogs and studies and knew it was time for a real change.

I started to talk about it. I told my people. They told me I was doing the right thing. They made mocktails when I was at their house. They texted me they were thinking about me. They told me they were proud of me. They still invited me to do fun things!

I started to tell people at happy hours who asked me why I wasn’t drinking the truth (even though it was really tempting to tell them I was doing Whole 30 or hoping they’d think I was pregnant). Their responses surprised me: “I need to quit for a while, too; Good for you; I’m proud of you.” 

And this time I really quit and be a sober mom. And maybe it’s just for the remainder of the month, the year, maybe forever. But I know my break-up with alcohol is working for me. I feel good. I feel clear-headed. I feel focused. I feel present. I feel like I can accomplish what I want and need to accomplish. I feel happy.

So cheers Chrissy (with my La Croix). Thanks for taking the lead. 

3 COMMENTS

  1. LOVE. I’m not a mom (yet) but with my wedding looming and starting to build my future family, I too decided to examine how much I drink and what I drink. I used to think limiting myself to a certain number of drinks was blasphemous – if I felt fine, what was the big deal? Wine makes me bloat to pregnancy levels but I could sleep that off right? It seems we can talk ourselves into justifying anything. But I recently stopped the justifications and you know what? Limiting myself wasn’t so bad when I saw how much better it made me feel. Not sure how long this will last but if the habit is gonna change for the long-term, it’s just gotta start somewhere. Why not now?

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