one of those days

Today I’m having one of those days. The kind of day that just doesn’t seem to end.

I’m having one of those days where my toddler woke up at 5 am just to babble. For an hour. Even though I didn’t go into his room signaling the start of a day I could hear him through his monitor. He eventually fell back asleep calmly, but my brain? No my brain said “let’s get up!”

I’m having one of those days where my toddler wants to repeatedly head butt me. It’s one of those days where he also wants to pull at my face and somehow accidentally gets a finger up my nose. This of course leads to my nose bleeding.

It’s one of those days where I really miss my former self. I catch a glance of some mom in a mirror at Gymboree. She looks a bit disheveled and tired. She needs a day off. Then I realize it’s my own reflection.

I’m having one of those days where my toddler is wanting to cling to me wherever I go. I know this sounds cute, and from the outside it is. But all I want to do is go to the bathroom or get dressed without someone holding onto my leg.

I’m having one of those days where I haven’t even managed to scarf down actual food. Clingy toddler doesn’t like when mommy eats because it means mommy can’t give all attention to said toddler. Also clingy toddler gets mad if mommy doesn’t share. I sneak bites of a microwaved breakfast taco when he isn’t looking.  

I’m having one of those days where my kid wants to bite me. When I pull him away and say no, he has a major melt down. You see, he’s getting his molars and he just doesn’t understand why his head hurts.

I’m having the kind of day where my kid kicks me as I change his diaper. He also somehow kicks his foot into his poop diaper. That’s a fun twist.

I’m having one of those days where my mantra is “this too shall pass.” I know random toddler meltdown days don’t always happen. I know most days are great. But today is not that day. Today is scream your head off day. I too want to scream my head off, but I can’t. I have to be calm for the toddler who is melting down.

Today is one of those days where I’m counting down the minutes until nap time. I can’t wait to eat. Maybe I’ll get a nap in too? Probably not though since the dishes are piled in the sink and there is laundry to put away.

I’m having one of those days where I have to remind myself how lucky I am to have a sweet healthy baby. Then I beat myself up mentally for having this bad day. There are a lot of people who would love a child and don’t have one. I should quit mentally whining and get over myself. But, like I said, today I’m having one of those days. I could really use a win today.

Then, just as I’ve about hit my limit, my little baby boy falls asleep in my arms. He’s clutching onto his stuffed bunny and the bad day washes away. His warm body is squished against mine. His rhythmic breathing reminds me that he’s only so tiny for so long. So, instead of doing the dishes, or doing the laundry, I hold him for just a little while. I smell his head and think, contentedly that this is just one of those days.

Veronica DeSantos Ryan
Hi Austin mamas! I am Veronica DeSantos Ryan, a mama from Round Rock. My husband and I moved to the area in 2014 and love every minute of it. Our baby Oliver (May 2016) is the light of our life and we are enjoying every minute with him. After spending seven years teaching, I decided that I wanted to be a stay at home mom and teacher of life to my little boy. As a family we love running with Ollie in his jogger stroller, having picnics outside, playing with our two dogs and exploring all the the Austin area has to offer! I am also a performing princess for Lexi's Little Princesses Princess company, a teaching artist at The Georgetown Palace Theatre, and a member of the singing group The Vintage Dreams. I am an avid reader, piano player, singer, and occasional actress in community theater, and have recently been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Miracles and More.

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