Hey, I think it’s time we talked. I want to thank you for being there for me since the beginning. You and I grew up together. We went through all of the joys and pains of life. Well, mostly pains and awkwardness, but I knew you had my back. We learned how to work together. We found our rhythm and made it work for us. Yes, our relationship may have been different than others, but it was just right for us.
As in all relationships, we had our ups and downs. Some said we waited too long for love (we didn’t…it happened exactly as it was meant to be). Things came along to try to stop us from creating a family. Then there was those that said there would always some type of unexplainable pain. We fought them together and pushed them away from us as far as we could! We faced them head on and did it with the help of some amazing people! We were good! We loved, we planned, we had our babies!
I truly couldn’t have done it without you! And I want to thank you, but it is time to say goodbye. We have (unfortunately) outgrown each other. We were there for exactly what we needed and when we needed it, but that was a different time. You were the best you could’ve been. I will always cherish the good times. Thank you for gifting me two amazing boys.
You have done your job well. I will always remember you.
Sincerely,
A Forever Grateful Mama
No, this letter was not to my husband. It was written to my uterus. Yep, we broke up for good. I just had a laparoscopic hysterectomy and it feels so strange saying it as I do not feel as if I am not that old! (I said feel, so hush!)
I’ve always had issues with that part of me. From crazy painful periods from the get-go to surgery to remove grapefruit sized cysts to endometriosis blocking my baby making abilities for years. After finding out I had fibroids AND adenomyosis, my doctor decided it was time to look at other options. After many, many tests, (some more painful than others) a laparoscopic hysterectomy became the best option.
Side note: A uterine biopsy is no joke! Ask questions, ask if anesthesia is right for you and RELAX! It was truly the worst pain I’ve ever had so far and I’ve been poked and prodded more times than I can count, had all the issues listed above and 2 C-Sections in my life. This, however, made me scream (I wish I had muscle relaxers)! To clarify, I would never say I have felt the worst pain out there. My issues even became manageable…painful, but manageable. I know so many people suffer far worse than I could ever imagine and for longer. I wish I could take your pain away somehow, too, truly I do (much love to you all❤️). I am merely saying that THAT was the worst for ME. Why? Well, not only because it really, really hurt, but because the back of my thigh cramped right as the doctor started cutting. (It was my own fault, really. I was so nervous that I tensed up so much I made myself cramp up.) Try not moving while laying on that lovely examining table (you know the one) when your whole leg feels like it is twisting itself right off while at the same time feeling your insides being cut! I didn’t just cry…I ugly cried for the first time in public. SO embarrassing! Sorry, sweet doctor! I still love you! Also, so sorry to the new and expecting mamas waiting their turn to see the doctor that heard my cries and I may have traumatized…I feel awful!
But I digress.
I am not sad that I lost a part of me. I wasn’t scared. We had our babies and our family is full. Plus, the thought of a life without heavy and painful periods that had a mind of their own (completely unpredictable), random cramping and just feeling gross is a dream come true! I could have sucked it up and waited for menopause, but no one knows when that would have actually been. I was told it could’ve been two years or it could’ve been 10! With my luck, it would’ve been 15! (ok, probably not, but my luck in this regard hasn’t been the best.) No thank you! I decided…take her! Take her with love and respect for growing such healthy and happy boys! Take her gently and tell her she will always be a part of me. I appreciate it!
I know everyone’s experience is different and this decision is hard for many women. I am not trying to take away from anyone’s sadness, anger or any other feelings this may bring up. This was a personal decision and with it came my personal feelings. For me, it was the right time, I accepted it and I was ready. I knew what to expect from the research I had done and from having laparoscopic surgery before. I didn’t really know much else, though.
Hyster-Sisters: If you or anyone you know has tips for an easier and healthy recovery from a hysterectomy (of any sort), I would love to read about them in the comments!
Here are some support websites I found to be extremely helpful in case anyone out there is in the same boat:
http://www.hysterectomystore.com/
http://www.hersfoundation.com/
https://www.mdjunction.com/hysterectomy
So brave, my friend. So brave! ❤️
Thank you! You are amazing! Hugs, mama!