Terrorism in My City. I’ve Been Here Before.

Many years ago our friends joked that they didn’t want to live in the same city as us because terrorism seems to follow us. Sorry folks, we moved to Austin.

New York City and Washington D.C.

On September 11, 2001, my husband (fiancé at the time) worked across the street from the World Trade Center. I watched the buildings fall from across river in Brooklyn and had no way of knowing if he was safe.

I was working at an early intervention center with young children with autism at the time, and all the children and therapists huddled around the one TV in the clinic watching the unbelievable. I found myself rocking right alongside these children, and I never again questioned why children with autism sometimes like to rock.

On 9/11 I also had my parents working in government buildings in Washington DC within a mile of the Pentagon, which was also under attack. So, three of the people that I loved the most in the world were all in locations that I’m watching on the news.

I can write about this whole day in much more detail as it is still vivid in my head, but for the purposes of this moment, I will focus on what I’ve learned from this experience.

This first interaction with terrorism was a day in my early 20s when I was introduced to the fragility and unexpected nature of life. I had been fortunate enough to have never had that realization thrust upon me before that day. But, on 9/11 my big girl panties got thrown at me. Fast. I had to reach out, catch them and put them on quickly. They ended up in a twist.

I realized how green I was to life and how wrong my instincts can be as last thing I said to my husband on his way to work that day was, “Today’s going to be a great day.”

Those words really came out of my mouth.

I was fooled by thinking that something superficial – like an unusually sunny, comfortable day in early autumn in the northeast – can cause greatness. And, even now when it’s a beautiful blue sky day (like today in Austin), I hesitate to proclaim the beauty of the day as if somehow those words are hexed.

However, were my instincts all wrong?

It is still heartbreaking for me to think about how many lost their lives in such a tragic way and to imagine the pain of those that were injured or who lost loved ones. The image of billboards with pictures of missing loved ones on block after block around the city’s hospitals is forever stamped on my heart. (Remember, the phone lines were all jammed and this is pre-social media so there wasn’t a quick way to find anyone.)

It was a very, very bad day for too many.

With amazing grace, my family managed to have a different story. Around 3pm that afternoon I was finally able to connect by phone with my in-laws in Dallas to find out that my loved ones were safe. The delay was horrible, and, for this reason, I will always have the Find My Friends app.

London.

Fast forward a few years and my husband and I are now living in London and guess what? London experiences terrorism and bombings.

Once again, I’m living in the presence of the terror cloud that lingers overhead.

High alerts. Travel warnings. Police with machine guns on the street and tube stops. Polarization amongst people of different religious backgrounds. Political movements. Fear. Anger. Grief.

My family was constantly in crowds and using public transportation in London on a daily basis.  My husband rode a packed tube to work in the financial district and the threat of bombings felt ever-present. As a result of this, my husband and I always tell each other when we get to and from work or long journeys.

My previous experience with 9/11, a stubborn nature, a strong will to continue exploring Europe and a good British quote taught me to Keep Calm and Carry On. If it was my dumb luck to be at the wrong tube stop at the wrong time, I wanted to enjoy all the moments before that unfortunate event.

Austin.

Now, here I am living in Austin, yet another city that has had the cloud of terrorism fill up the blue skies. (And, yes, I do consider this event terrorism as it evoked fear throughout a city due to unpredictable acts meant to cause harm to others…even if the offender was a Christian white guy with no known links to official terror groups and born in the good ol’ U S of A just like the shooter in Vegas and the shooters who have terrorized our schools.)

You would think that after living through this three times that I’d be more concerned about terrorism. But, I’m not.

What I’ve learned through my three rounds of terrorism is that I cannot do a whole lot about it in my little world as a physical therapist. Yes, I will be vigilant and report suspicious activity and unusual packages. And, I’m very grateful for and supportive of the quick response of the federal officials and brave law enforcers who are holding up the anti-terrorism front. I accept that I’m really a bystander in all of this. But, that doesn’t mean that I will let terrorism take away my joy and replace it with anxiety or take my power and replace it with fear. Because, unfortunately, this will happen again and there’s no upside to living a fearful life without joy.

I’m re-directing.

I choose to oppose fear and anxiety by trying to live each day with meaning and purpose and gratefulness because terrorism has taught me that you really never know what can happen.

I’m controlling the things that I can control.

Statistics shout out the big bad dangers that could most likely lead to a tragedy for my family. Death by terrorism isn’t currently anywhere near the top of that list, but the following things are the poisoned fruit that I try to avoid.

Riding in a car. More kids are killed in motor vehicle accidents than in any other way. So, while I can’t avoid driving, I can try to be as safe as possible in the event of an accident. This guide helped me learn how to install a car seat, and I’ve learned that it is safest to ride in a booster until a child is 4 foot 9 inches tall and the seat belt fits as described here.

Drowning. A child can drown in the time it took you to read this article, and it is the leading cause of death for children ages 1-4. So, my kids take swim lessons inside that age window and there are always eyes on them in the pool. Here’s a great resource on ways to prevent drowning and make homes with pools more safe. 

Guns. I know this is Texas and this is a super sore spot right now in our society. However, statistics do not lie. Modern kids are significantly more likely to die by being shot than they are likely to be abducted by a stranger (the main old school fear of parents until recent years). And, the likelihood of death by a firearm is markedly increased if there is a gun in the home. I beg of you to please lock up your guns, especially – in all selfishness – if my kid is coming over for a playdate or if your child goes to school with mine.

This has been how I’ve come to deal with terrorism three times over. I’m hoping that you already had the things above on your radar and realize that you are in control of the real dangers in your family’s life. You have the option to re-direct any fears and anxieties evoked by terrorism towards things that we can directly influence.

We are in control. We are safe. We can act on something today, which will make our families even safer and our lives even happier.

Whatever you do, don’t let this event of terrorism – or the next – stop you from living your best days ever.