I came to the quick conclusion, after becoming a mom, that I was going to have to pick my battles as a parent. I simply do not have the time, and certainly not the energy, to fight my kids on every single, mind-numbing battle. Even as an infant, there were certain things I had to let go. But certainly, once my boys became opinionated toddlers. I either had to pick my battles with them or go insane. I chose my sanity, and I think you should too.

There are definite hot buttons for me as a mom. We all have them. They all look different within each household, but the plain fact is that there are just some things us moms have to stand by and drive home the important things for our kids. But then, there are also some things that once seemed necessary battles, that now are long gone from my priority list.

So here’s my list of dos and don’ts for my own kids. The battles I pick and will choose to fight until I’m blue in the face, and then the others I let them win.

The battles I DON’T pick

What they wear

I gave up battling wardrobe on normal days and let them rock their own style. Cowboy boots with gym shorts? Sure. Whatever, my friend. You do you. Like that outfit needs explaining to the onlookers anyway. We can all spot a self-dressed toddler a mile away. I do, however, pick a battle with them on picture day or special occasions because I refuse to allow them to ruin someone else’s class picture or wedding day because they wanted to express their independence from their closet.

Just pick a cup already

Certain colored cups definitely make the drink taste better. Why is that?! But to a VERY opinionated toddler, a certain color cup can make or break their day, and who am I to stand in the way of their happiness? Lord help me if that dreaded red cup is in the dishwasher!

Crazy hair don’t care

My boys seem to think they’re melting if I wet and attempt to style their hair. So that’s just not a battle I have the energy to pick on a daily basis.

Stubbornly independent

My kids insist on doing things by themselves, even when they don’t have a clue how to accomplish the task at hand. But, within reason, I stand by as they learn how to voice their opinions and preferences.

Food

I’m DONE begging my kids to take just 2 more bites of their meals. I’m also done having our mealtimes ruined by the food battle. I waved the white flag a lonnnng time ago. My kids know my stance on it now. They still need reminders, but the rule is never bent at my table. You eat what is served, or you don’t eat. I don’t fight about it. I choose NOT to battle this because the answer will remain the same at our table. Some might argue that food is actually one of my hot buttons, and on the list of battles, I DO pick. But in my mind, picking my battles does not always mean I give in and the kids get their way. It just means I don’t engage in the warfare.

The battles I DO pick

Good citizens

I am strict on sharing, nonviolent, kind behaviors. My kids are taught to be kind, even when others aren’t. Especially, when others aren’t.

Whining

I absolutely will not give in to whining with my kids.

Safety and anything hygiene related

Things like brushing teeth, bathing regularly, wearing a seatbelt and a bike helmet are all non negotiables with my kids, and I will fight that battle with them any day of the week.

What battles do you choose to pick with your kids?

Michelle Tate
Michelle is a native Austinite. A former Elementary school teacher, she now stays at home with her boys, Mason (2011), Hudson (2015), and Brady (2017). She has been married to her college sweetheart, Brian, since 2008. She enjoys traveling, sewing and refinishing furniture, reading and spending time with family and friends.

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