Assignments and research and papers and tests. Bottles and wipes and diapers make the rest…these are a few of my favorite things. Take the word favorite with a grain of salt. These are really a few of my current realities as a mama who decided to go back to school…for herself. Initially, I didn’t want to do it. I’ve put off the idea of getting my master’s degree for years. I convinced myself that I was perfectly fine with my BS (my degree, not my actual bs) and my teacher certification. Everyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE and adore teaching. It’s definitely my calling, and although it is still very much a part of my career, I’ve known that I needed to begin the journey of school again. I needed to grow. I needed to be challenged and challenges are where growth is harvested. Still, it took me a minute to have the guts to jump in with both feet. Honestly, I was just scared that I wouldn’t be able to do it all. Was I seriously considering going back to school? It had been 10 years since I graced a college campus. I wasn’t the 18-year-old, spunky girl who could pull “all nighters” and still make it through the day. I was a 34-year-old wife, now PREGGERS mama, who worked full time and was in desperate need of a 12-hour nap (every day). Nonetheless, I finally jumped and stopped putting off what I had run away from for so long.
So why did I finally decide to go back to school?
To learn more and explore my passion
To challenge me
To do something for ME
…….and mostly
To grow because growth scared me to death
Fellow mamas know that guilt and FOMO (fear of missing out) can quite possibly take us down if we allow it to do so. We worry about being enough for everyone except ourselves. We wonder if we can handle all the things we juggle from day to day (not realizing that we are in fact keeping everything going). We stifle our own progress because sometimes deep down we simply don’t believe we can do it. Well, I told all of the guilt and the fear to just shut it and I ripped off the band-aid. Taking this leap has given me a new lens and I’ve learned:
It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. I know this is a cliche, but it really is the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Meltdowns are ok; just don’t stay there. Mine were mostly pregnancy hormones, but knowing me I still would have had some sort of freak out even if I wasn’t baking a baby. I shook it off and I lived. You will too.
I’ve learned so much about myself and what I’m capable of doing.More importantly, I’ve learned that I CAN, in fact, do this.
I don’t pull “all-nighters.” I pull “I’ll get it done, just not today-ers.” The false narrative that we tell ourselves: I need to do everything and I need to do it today. One bite at a time mamas, one bite at a time. And to my 18-year-old self who pulled “all nighters”……#girlbye
Family is still first. False narrative #2: Mamas must sacrifice their growth in order to keep their family first. You can do both. Is it easy? Not always. Is it possible? If you want it to be. Part of me feared that I would not have time for my hubby and my sweet baby boy. However, a year and a half later I’m still able to be a mama, wife, and a grad student. In fact, my 7-month-old now knows all about Public School Law thanks to the hours of reading in utero. Literacy for the little one + getting homework done = Win Win.
As I continue in my last year, I don’t regret a thing. I am very thankful that I jumped. Glad I ripped off the band-aid. Elated that I ignored the fear and guilt ghosts to begin this journey. Many times mamas are told to take care of themselves. Rarely does the “self-care talk” encourage mamas to do things that will further their growth or challenge them. So mamas, jump right in. Whether it’s starting school, finishing a degree, acquiring another, or becoming more knowledgeable to grow or start a new endeavor…Do it. If you feel the nudge. Do it. If you’ve been putting off your development. Do it. A better you makes for a better mommy. So for those of you who are in the school boat with me,
What is your reason for going back to school…..for yourself?
