Where does time GO? Seriously, take a minute to pause, reflect and breathe in the ferocity with which our days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and then all of a sudden you (I) have a tween and a teen. What?!
As a way to capture our fleeting moments, I have a say “yes” mantra. By saying “yes” I find more connection with my kids, I get to know them better, we have more adventures and more memories made.
As an example, my daughter asked for a late Sunday afternoon play date. I reluctantly said yes. I envisioned my Sunday afternoon winding down and folding laundry while watching the Housewives of Beverly Hills (yes, I just typed that). However, by saying yes, I was able to get to witness their friendship, and get to know her friend better (including hearing her silly singing). The evening left our hearts full.
I’m struggling with balancing my 13-year old son’s desire to play the Xbox with ensuring he experiences the beauty of life and can handle boredom without numbing himself. I’ve never liked video games, nor understood their allure. He asked me to watch him play a first-person shooter game to see if would approve him playing it. I said…yes (very reluctantly) and for 30 minutes, he laughed at my reactions and explained his every move. I liked modeling for him what love looks like in action.
My daughter was learning through some difficult girl dynamics. It was wearing on her and I started to see her spark dampen. The next day, we took a mental health day and went to the zoo to spend time outside with the best medicine in the world – animals. We didn’t rush, we bought the petting zoo food and just breathed into the day.
For my son’s middle school dance, he asked to buy the most obnoxious gold suit jacket. I love that he shows his personality in this way – it always surprises me and makes my heart giggle. He found a reasonably priced one on Amazon and I ordered it for him.
I’ve found that saying yes, and clearing my mind from the noise and expectations enough to hear my intuition, is always a gift. Most of the time these yeses are small. It’s time spent together, it’s a small and deliberate purchase, it’s space to breath, it’s watching a sci-fi horror flick, it’s opening our house to friends, it’s taking a road trip to Dallas to see Bratayley (YouTube stars), it’s laughing at Arrested Development at 9pm when I think bedtime should happen instead, it’s going to the mall and spending a lifetime in Claire’s then GameStop, it’s sitting in a deer stand, it’s getting the matching shoes, it’s rescuing a Guinea Pig, it’s saying yes to keeping the fish and teaching how to filet it, it’s taking the polar bear plunge…the list is sacred and gratefully, never-ending.
As a mom, in partnership with saying “yes” to the things either the kids ask for or ones I know they will love (i.e. paint ball with friends on Good Friday), I also choose to say “yes” to the things the kids don’t ask for directly, but need: healthy food, consistent bedtime, limits on electronics, editing science papers, watching YouTube videos to remember how to do 4th grade math, advocating for my kids, discussions about sex, peer pressure, depression, self-worth, respect, kindness, accountability, vaping, etc. In many ways, this “yes” is the hardest and requires the most energy. However, it is my commitment as a mom to the most precious souls in my care.
Beautifully written from one yes Mom to another! My most recent have been wiffle ball Wednesday’s for my boys, jump rope and reading with my girls…I find I grow with every yes.
You are a wonderful role model!