Raising Daughters In A Sexually Pushy World

The older I get the more conservative I get. The biggest reason is Jesus. In our home, we know that this world is only our temporary home…but society sure does make it seem like it is the only thing that matters. Advertisements pushing sex on every corner, confrontations on every platform, arguments, politics, the list goes on. It is hard to stay focused on the true purpose of life when we are constantly berated with screaming pushes for big, new, sexy, loud, bold… sometimes I feel like we are encouraged to fight and yell for what we want. 

Along with all the “stuff” society deems important is the sexual advancement that has taken place over the last few decades. Women decided at some point they needed to be liberated and should be free to do what they want, wear what they want, say what they want, etc etc.

I am definitely a strong, independent woman. I believe in empowerment, individuality, dreaming big, free-thinking, working hard…but I am not a feminist. I believe women can be strong, fierce, incredible, dream building, go getting, brave warriors without all the man-bashing, hateful, angry shouts.

There is something to be said about the classy, strong Christian women like Florence Nightingale for her service to others, Mother Teresa for her selflessness, Rosa Parks for her strength, Evangeline Cory Booth for her selflessness, Charlotte “Lottie” Moon for her evangelism, Amy Carmichael for her bravery, and many, many more.

I want to raise my daughters in a world where they feel empowered by cherishing their bodies, being modest because the public should be paying attention to their beautiful minds, not their bum cheeks or cleavage.

I want to raise my daughters to be so confident and secure in themselves that they don’t need to be sexual before marriage, because they are focused on their dreams and goals.

I want my girls to feel excited to hold strong to their purity, because it is so precious and only their husband should be given the gift of truly enjoying all of her. I want to raise them to develop a relationship with their future husbands based on their minds, their souls, what makes them tick…and that gentleman will appreciate her for her tenacity, her strength, her bravery to not be part of the sheeple. That she dared to go against the grain and celebrate her march for tact, self-preservation, and vigor despite the world telling her to “just do it”.

But how do I accomplish this? The world around us seems to have completely accepted the fact that our children will be sexually involved by early teens.

I’m sorry, what the what?

Why? Why have we bowed our heads, turned our heads, closed the doors and allowed this to be acceptable??

In my own story, I never felt liberated by giving myself to a man except my husband. I never felt empowered by sex with a man that wasn’t my husband. All I felt was alone, cracked and broken. I wished that my parents would have truly shined importance on purity and courting before marriage to truly meet your best friend.

Let’s face it sex is awesome, but it is not the only thing you do in your marriage… sooooo why is this the first thing we are okay with happening in a relationship?

What do most marriages consist of? Conversation, compromise, decision-making, discussion about finances, dreams, goals, what kind of parents you want to be, jobs, what we love, what we don’t love, what we yearn for, what we like to eat, what we want our houses to look like, where we want to live, where we want to travel…. Lots of talking is involved in a marriage.

When love is the center of your marriage (and Jesus) all things bloom and unfold beautifully. If we base our marriages and relationships off sex, things go off kilter fast. (Hence the climbing 50% divorce rate…)

I am certainly not perfect, we are all broken in our own way.

However, I am incredibly passionate about raising my daughters to respect themselves on the outside and the inside enough to wait for marriage to have sex.

Disclaimer: These are my opinions and decisions that I believe are right for our family, I am in no way telling others what to do.